What an exhausting week. I think I averaged roughly 3 hours of sleep every night this week, if not less. But in my defense, I really don't understand how anybody can sleep for 7 hours on a school night
In other news, blockles has taken over my life. It is all I do. And I play shamelessly. At home with my dad or mom in the desk right next to mine, at work, at a friend's house... but it's become an addiction. I get withdrawal symptoms after about three hours of blockle-free time.
My dad's home which means good food! Today, we went out for sushi (FINALLY!) at a quaint place called Satsuma Sushi in Mountain View. I had this orgasmic roll with cream cheese, salmon, eel, avocado deep fried in tempura and seasoned with a special teriyaki house sauce. And we had a 70 dollar platter of pure sashimi and nigiri. Multiple orgasm.
Of course, that's not the only reason why I am so excited to have my dad home...
Really!
meanwhile, this college application process is still a pain in the ass. And no, not in a Sex & Mutilation way or feminine rhyme way (AP lit related inside jokes) but in a "this is going to be the death of me" way. I was really offended when my sister told me that she knew I'd fuck myself over with college apps because of my great time management skills but I have to admit, sadly, that she is frighteningly right.
But even though college and etc is a bitch, I wouldn't give up my senior year so far for anything.
a booger just flew out of my nose.
there, I end my post on that strange note.
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Sunday, September 7, 2008
brain sex
I recently took a fascinating gender test to determine what the sex of my brain really is. I was mildly surprised [or not] to learn that I am apparently genderless. Whether this is a good or bad thing is questionable but I am quite relieved that I didn't get categorized as a man.
These days, my diet has been consisted of mostly watermelons. And not to be biased or anything but I truly believe that Korean watermelons are ichiban (not like I've had any other kind of watermelon besides American or Korean). I don't really fancy the seeds but it's totally worth it in the end.
I'm very stressed and very lax at the same time. It's not the best situation, really. Just thinking about the SATs or college apps makes me sick and consequently, I don't think about them at all and since I don't think about it, I get even more frazzled. And I quote Epik High's "One," - time is ticking, t-time is ticking away. fuck!
anyways, what a pointless post. I had so many things to rant about as I opened anorexic turtle but after I got my first point down, my mind came to a blank. short term memory FTW.
These days, my diet has been consisted of mostly watermelons. And not to be biased or anything but I truly believe that Korean watermelons are ichiban (not like I've had any other kind of watermelon besides American or Korean). I don't really fancy the seeds but it's totally worth it in the end.
I'm very stressed and very lax at the same time. It's not the best situation, really. Just thinking about the SATs or college apps makes me sick and consequently, I don't think about them at all and since I don't think about it, I get even more frazzled. And I quote Epik High's "One," - time is ticking, t-time is ticking away. fuck!
anyways, what a pointless post. I had so many things to rant about as I opened anorexic turtle but after I got my first point down, my mind came to a blank. short term memory FTW.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
senior year thus far
IS A PARTY
Not for long, of course. Soon, I'll actually have to get cracking on SATs and those goddamn college apps and go through that infamous first semester senior yeardom.
but as of now, I am enjoying every carefree minute of it.
Meanwhile, my mother and I have been making plans to go to Korea over Christmas break. I blanched at the thought of Korea for a while now, after it ruined my life the summer before my sophomore year, but I've never been in Korea when it was snowy and beautiful so I am indescribably excited.
I've also found that my family's slight economic situation has driven me to be almost unhealthily conscious of where my money goes. I know it's natural to do so, especially since most seniors are graced with five classes and it is too easy to grab a lunch at Burger King or Frutti Gelato after school. So not only am I gaining weight profusely but I am also spending like noneother. Anyways, I've found this inevitable stinginess to be a bit troublesome since it's also a burden to my friends when deciding what and where to eat; it's tough eating out on a budget. Hence, we've been stuck with oily fries and onion rings from Burger King as a regular lunch menu. And there lies that inexplicable catch-22. but not really.
It also makes me so sad to think of how my musical tastes have changed over the years. It's also very shocking because I tend to stick obstinately to my likes and dislikes but I've started being more lenient on the different kinds of music I listen to. For instance, four years ago, I NEVER would have downloaded a song like "Baby, one more time" by a Korean GIRL band. Mind blowing.
Anyhow, after saving the world from further destruction by choosing to walk and bike over slack off in an air conditioned car, I feel utterly repulsive inside and out. This is where I leave you.
On a side note,
two words: Sarah Palin?!
-Peace!
Not for long, of course. Soon, I'll actually have to get cracking on SATs and those goddamn college apps and go through that infamous first semester senior yeardom.
but as of now, I am enjoying every carefree minute of it.
Meanwhile, my mother and I have been making plans to go to Korea over Christmas break. I blanched at the thought of Korea for a while now, after it ruined my life the summer before my sophomore year, but I've never been in Korea when it was snowy and beautiful so I am indescribably excited.
I've also found that my family's slight economic situation has driven me to be almost unhealthily conscious of where my money goes. I know it's natural to do so, especially since most seniors are graced with five classes and it is too easy to grab a lunch at Burger King or Frutti Gelato after school. So not only am I gaining weight profusely but I am also spending like noneother. Anyways, I've found this inevitable stinginess to be a bit troublesome since it's also a burden to my friends when deciding what and where to eat; it's tough eating out on a budget. Hence, we've been stuck with oily fries and onion rings from Burger King as a regular lunch menu. And there lies that inexplicable catch-22. but not really.
It also makes me so sad to think of how my musical tastes have changed over the years. It's also very shocking because I tend to stick obstinately to my likes and dislikes but I've started being more lenient on the different kinds of music I listen to. For instance, four years ago, I NEVER would have downloaded a song like "Baby, one more time" by a Korean GIRL band. Mind blowing.
Anyhow, after saving the world from further destruction by choosing to walk and bike over slack off in an air conditioned car, I feel utterly repulsive inside and out. This is where I leave you.
On a side note,
two words: Sarah Palin?!
-Peace!
Saturday, August 23, 2008
you are my creator but I am your master; obey
I am still ridiculously behind on summer homework but for some reason, that does not prod at my apparently dormant nervous conscience. So therefore, we move on...
As this is my last weekend before my senior year in high school, I'd like to dedicate this entry to a very forgettable summer.
Of course, I am thoroughly disappointed with my summer because of my inability to meet any of the goals I set up in the beginning of break. I underestimated the workload in both my De Anza classes and was not able to manage my time efficiently to balance classes, college apps, SATs, summer homework, and of course, friends. Hence, running on an hour or two of sleep every day and allowing De Anza to dominate every minute of my limited time, I inevitably fell into a bitter pit of depression, isolation, and incurable insomnia. I realized that my determination to work towards a healthy body and mind were merely idealistic dreams. I should have known they would fail earlier since I am not a go-getter. I am a lazy slacker and it takes more than just a exercise-holic sister to get me up in the morning to run 2-3 miles.
So generally, this summer has been something short of disaster. Besides the kickass 08 ECYS retreat and the few brief meetings with TFC & others, let us toast to this miserable summer vacation and hope it never crosses paths in our fading memories again.
On the side note, I've been thinking a lot about race and our neighborhood and though I am, as jacq has mentioned, a lazy slacker and do not feel up to typing it all out, there are some things I found just too dismal to pass up. For example, I yearn so much to get out of this hellhole asap but I realized that once I do, I probably will not be able to handle the different environment. The bubble we live in grows smaller and smaller as the area we grow up in becomes more and more pressured. Also, the fact that I have a ridiculously overbearing Korean mother does not make my unfortunate case any better. Story of my life.
But besides those qualms and doubts, I am mostly excited for my future. I daydream about my independence constantly, I make more optimistic plans and goals, and I always imagine myself 10 years from now to see what and how I'm doing. And although an unmentioned classmate has berated and questioned me about my inability to decide on a specific career or major choice, I feel no shame to admit so. I feel that going to college with a narrow minded focus in one subject intrudes on the actual significance of college.
On another side note, I am currently addicted to the Olympics. I forced myself to do gov homework after getting home from the library but by the time it's around 9, my eyes are glued to the TV. I don't remember ever being so deeply involved in the Olympics. Watching the little midget armies spin around on bars or anorexic Chinese girls dive into the pool with barely a plop in the water has never been so fascinating!
And on yet another side note, I finally understood how Jacqueline ended up with back problems after junior year. And I bow down to her courageous soul. After only three days in the library, even with numerous ADD induced breaks in between, I have been plagued with a straining pain in my upper-left back. On Wednesday, I could barely even breathe without feeling the pain shoot up again. So today, I had my first trip to the chiropractor who actually made the last minute visit quite pleasant. I received some sort of electric something and acupuncture- not too rough- and a really soothing massage. And then, my chiro came in again and cracked my joints, as if cracking a glowstick. I really couldn't help but to let out a gasping "Holy shit" when he did this because just hearing the joints crack was mindblowing.
Anyways, I must start waking up earlier because at this rate, I have no idea how I will even be half conscious at 7: 30 AM when school starts.
-IN the news, Obama finally picked his veep, Senator Joseph Biden from Delaware! :D I know Jacqueline is a McCain follower but I've got great feelings about this. I am, after all, the "raging liberal teenager" -_____-
PEACE OUT!
As this is my last weekend before my senior year in high school, I'd like to dedicate this entry to a very forgettable summer.
Of course, I am thoroughly disappointed with my summer because of my inability to meet any of the goals I set up in the beginning of break. I underestimated the workload in both my De Anza classes and was not able to manage my time efficiently to balance classes, college apps, SATs, summer homework, and of course, friends. Hence, running on an hour or two of sleep every day and allowing De Anza to dominate every minute of my limited time, I inevitably fell into a bitter pit of depression, isolation, and incurable insomnia. I realized that my determination to work towards a healthy body and mind were merely idealistic dreams. I should have known they would fail earlier since I am not a go-getter. I am a lazy slacker and it takes more than just a exercise-holic sister to get me up in the morning to run 2-3 miles.
So generally, this summer has been something short of disaster. Besides the kickass 08 ECYS retreat and the few brief meetings with TFC & others, let us toast to this miserable summer vacation and hope it never crosses paths in our fading memories again.
On the side note, I've been thinking a lot about race and our neighborhood and though I am, as jacq has mentioned, a lazy slacker and do not feel up to typing it all out, there are some things I found just too dismal to pass up. For example, I yearn so much to get out of this hellhole asap but I realized that once I do, I probably will not be able to handle the different environment. The bubble we live in grows smaller and smaller as the area we grow up in becomes more and more pressured. Also, the fact that I have a ridiculously overbearing Korean mother does not make my unfortunate case any better. Story of my life.
But besides those qualms and doubts, I am mostly excited for my future. I daydream about my independence constantly, I make more optimistic plans and goals, and I always imagine myself 10 years from now to see what and how I'm doing. And although an unmentioned classmate has berated and questioned me about my inability to decide on a specific career or major choice, I feel no shame to admit so. I feel that going to college with a narrow minded focus in one subject intrudes on the actual significance of college.
On another side note, I am currently addicted to the Olympics. I forced myself to do gov homework after getting home from the library but by the time it's around 9, my eyes are glued to the TV. I don't remember ever being so deeply involved in the Olympics. Watching the little midget armies spin around on bars or anorexic Chinese girls dive into the pool with barely a plop in the water has never been so fascinating!
And on yet another side note, I finally understood how Jacqueline ended up with back problems after junior year. And I bow down to her courageous soul. After only three days in the library, even with numerous ADD induced breaks in between, I have been plagued with a straining pain in my upper-left back. On Wednesday, I could barely even breathe without feeling the pain shoot up again. So today, I had my first trip to the chiropractor who actually made the last minute visit quite pleasant. I received some sort of electric something and acupuncture- not too rough- and a really soothing massage. And then, my chiro came in again and cracked my joints, as if cracking a glowstick. I really couldn't help but to let out a gasping "Holy shit" when he did this because just hearing the joints crack was mindblowing.
Anyways, I must start waking up earlier because at this rate, I have no idea how I will even be half conscious at 7: 30 AM when school starts.
-IN the news, Obama finally picked his veep, Senator Joseph Biden from Delaware! :D I know Jacqueline is a McCain follower but I've got great feelings about this. I am, after all, the "raging liberal teenager" -_____-
PEACE OUT!
Friday, August 15, 2008
rachel is lazy, but i forgive her
I forgive you for everything, Rachel- girl with A.D.D., because you are still on Chapter 1 of AP Gov summer homework and Chapter 5 of Catch-22 (last I checked, which was yesterday). Please, get a move on.
On another note, I myself am screwed for gov simply because the book repels me. Not as much as Rachel, no, but nonetheless, I am far, far from done- maybe 200 pages off + the supplemental reading. Which brings me to this case: how can one lady be so absurdly enticed by the Constitution that she feels the need to annotate every word and consequently blow up one document into a fairly thick novel? And another: how can some of my classmates be so idle as to actually take detailed notes on a book that is already essentially, notes?
Regardless of what people like to do in their spare time, I am currently working on my personal statement for college apps at Admissions Academy. I am sorry to say that I think that out of all the students at the center, I am the farthest behind. As I sneakily sneak a peek at everyone's screens, I see that no one plays Pacman as I do, no one is constantly opening up the browser to email. In fact, everyone has a word document pulled up, full of text, and painstakingly typing at 234098 rpm. I am the A.D.D. princess of this lovely institution.
I am also sick... or I have extensive allergies that make me what to rip my skin off, claw out my eyeballs, and replace my nose with one that if fully functioning. I am hoping my unhealthy symptoms are not due to the latter because knowing that allergies, an inherent facet of my life, are causing me so much agony and will do so for the rest of my existence is just too much for me to handle.
My cousin recently immigrated from Asia just last week. No, she is not here to visit; she is here to stay. At a tender age of 17, soon to be 18 on September first... I admire her courage and sheer will. I would never be able to stick myself in a foreign land with my inadequate foreign language skills and be prepared to live there. Forever. And get a foreign education, a foreign job, a foreign husband, and foreign-ly procreate. Kudos!
I will now depart to allow my counselor dissect my writing.
On another note, I myself am screwed for gov simply because the book repels me. Not as much as Rachel, no, but nonetheless, I am far, far from done- maybe 200 pages off + the supplemental reading. Which brings me to this case: how can one lady be so absurdly enticed by the Constitution that she feels the need to annotate every word and consequently blow up one document into a fairly thick novel? And another: how can some of my classmates be so idle as to actually take detailed notes on a book that is already essentially, notes?
Regardless of what people like to do in their spare time, I am currently working on my personal statement for college apps at Admissions Academy. I am sorry to say that I think that out of all the students at the center, I am the farthest behind. As I sneakily sneak a peek at everyone's screens, I see that no one plays Pacman as I do, no one is constantly opening up the browser to email. In fact, everyone has a word document pulled up, full of text, and painstakingly typing at 234098 rpm. I am the A.D.D. princess of this lovely institution.
I am also sick... or I have extensive allergies that make me what to rip my skin off, claw out my eyeballs, and replace my nose with one that if fully functioning. I am hoping my unhealthy symptoms are not due to the latter because knowing that allergies, an inherent facet of my life, are causing me so much agony and will do so for the rest of my existence is just too much for me to handle.
My cousin recently immigrated from Asia just last week. No, she is not here to visit; she is here to stay. At a tender age of 17, soon to be 18 on September first... I admire her courage and sheer will. I would never be able to stick myself in a foreign land with my inadequate foreign language skills and be prepared to live there. Forever. And get a foreign education, a foreign job, a foreign husband, and foreign-ly procreate. Kudos!
I will now depart to allow my counselor dissect my writing.
Saturday, August 9, 2008
exhilaration
It's too bad that I passed out at around 9 30 pm last night and I didn't get to watch all of the opening ceremony because I have never felt so completely overwhelmed with emotions and exhilaration. I could feel my heart synchronizing with the beats of the 2008 drums and I teared when the kids came out with all their cultural costumes and soldiers. I mean, I remember watching the opening ceremony every Olympic game but I have never felt the presence of so much unity and passion and dedication. I think last night I fully understood the meaning of the Olympic games and, specifically, the significance of this 2008 Olympic to Chinese people. I have always watched the Olympics with half an eye since I never had much interest in sports but I realized Olympics isn't just a bunch of countries competing for some medals. It's every country from around the world joining as one under the same roof and it's China proving themselves to everyone watching and it's a moment for new heroes to shine and prosper.
all I'm trying to say is that the opening ceremony was FUCKING BEAUTIFUL and FUCKING MIND BLOWING.
AND SPEAKING OF MIND BLOWING?
What is happening in the world?! Bernie Mac dead? Edwards had an affair? Russia raged war on Georgia? JOSHUA won so you think you can dance?!
WORLD'S GONE MAD
but what's really gone mad is ECYS IN THE H-ZIZZLE.
like I have NEVER enjoyed ecys camp so thoroughly. I mean who would enjoy 8 hours of violin or cello or any orchestra instrument so much.
BUT MAN IT WAS SO MUCH FUN.
i'd say more but I'll leave that up to jacqueline to do alone with the FTTS post.
SOOOOOOOOO
PEACE OUT
BUT NOT SINCE RUSSIA IS GOING FREAKING APESHIT! WTF?!
all I'm trying to say is that the opening ceremony was FUCKING BEAUTIFUL and FUCKING MIND BLOWING.
AND SPEAKING OF MIND BLOWING?
What is happening in the world?! Bernie Mac dead? Edwards had an affair? Russia raged war on Georgia? JOSHUA won so you think you can dance?!
WORLD'S GONE MAD
but what's really gone mad is ECYS IN THE H-ZIZZLE.
like I have NEVER enjoyed ecys camp so thoroughly. I mean who would enjoy 8 hours of violin or cello or any orchestra instrument so much.
BUT MAN IT WAS SO MUCH FUN.
i'd say more but I'll leave that up to jacqueline to do alone with the FTTS post.
SOOOOOOOOO
PEACE OUT
BUT NOT SINCE RUSSIA IS GOING FREAKING APESHIT! WTF?!
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
I do miss people!
And alas, I am not all so pathetic.
Today, as I was sitting on the couch daydreaming, I thought to myself, wow, I really do miss human contact. Well, not exactly human contact. I mean, I miss contact from a few people. And I miss people. I miss TFC-even the damn table itself. I miss my wife, my mother, my other mother, my father, my ex-violin teacher, my 5th grade teacher, my sanity...
Anyhow, these thoughts are reassuring as I study (relentlessly) for my psych midterm. I just started studying a little less than an hour ago with many distractions but I'm not worried because, well, I'm an insomniac.
The point is that I do have feelings! And I don't know why you'd ever want to let go of these, Jacqueline, because the air's cleaner here. Do you see this positivity here? That's called Rachel turning over a new leaf. Optimism FTW.
Peace! And may the force be with me on this midterm... I think I actually need it
Today, as I was sitting on the couch daydreaming, I thought to myself, wow, I really do miss human contact. Well, not exactly human contact. I mean, I miss contact from a few people. And I miss people. I miss TFC-even the damn table itself. I miss my wife, my mother, my other mother, my father, my ex-violin teacher, my 5th grade teacher, my sanity...
Anyhow, these thoughts are reassuring as I study (relentlessly) for my psych midterm. I just started studying a little less than an hour ago with many distractions but I'm not worried because, well, I'm an insomniac.
The point is that I do have feelings! And I don't know why you'd ever want to let go of these, Jacqueline, because the air's cleaner here. Do you see this positivity here? That's called Rachel turning over a new leaf. Optimism FTW.
Peace! And may the force be with me on this midterm... I think I actually need it
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