I always assume the worst. I fucking hate that.

I'm always doubting everything & everyone. Can't fucking trust anyone, but that's all self perpetuated. I guess I like to just do this shit to myself, make myself feel so... hmm.. doubtful? skeptical? bitter? eternally betrayed for no apparent reason?

I now understand what "I give people the benefit of the doubt". because I realized I am the polar fuckin opposite. Assume the worst in everyone. Then they won't disappoint you right? No reason to get your hopes up and let people play ball with it.

What I mean is.

There is just no happy ending.