Dear blogspot,

I realize I left you for tumblr, but I cannot say I ever really intended to do so. I miss writing like this- with full, complete sentences constructed at varying lengths. Like how English is meant to be written.

Ah yes, I did leave your traditions for that new and modernized tumblr- this much is true. "Why tumblr?" your desperate eyes cry. I don't know. Maybe I thought that because she was something everyone used, blogging would come back in. In like fashion, yaddiggg?? And I suppose it has- I mean, people find it easier to keep up with the things I write now, but really, I think I've always given you stronger content. I married Tumblr out of convenience; you can text short little messages to her (so quick & easy!), but now that it comes down to stress and anger, I have reappeared on this website. Because this is the place where I can write like this. This is home. So I'm sorry anorexicturtle.blogspot.com- I abandoned you. Like a bastard father leaving his children behind (Like Serena van der Woodsen's father [yes, I just made a Gossip Girl reference]), I suddenly returned and wounded your fragile heart without a warning.

And there is no forgiveness for I am not back for good. I realize I'm just toying with your heart, coming in when I'm falling and leaving as soon as I have healed. I leave you with no promises, no hopes, and dreams. So you don't need to welcome me with open arms because I realize I treat you like a safety net; you don't need to be here for me because I know it strains your emotions.
It is unfair, and I apologize.

But I missed you. I love you.

Jackie.

melancholy

insipid
curled up, bent up
to question is to show weakness- to question is to show insecurity
don't look back
don't regret
a song without words
a word without meaning

a body without blood
a heart without soul
a soul without purpose

to live with a cause
to die without one