YES ON PROP 8

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REASONS TO VOTE FOR PROP 8

1. Having tolerance without condoning.
We can love someone while still maintaining and advocating our standards and beliefs.

While we're at it, might as well abolish marriage itself. We'd effectively be maintaining and advocating our standards and beliefs, whatever that is, and it'd eliminate the notion of infidelity since "cheating on your wife" would no longer exist. Why marry when we can just love? Isn't loving enough? Who needs marriage and family and spouses and relationships that last for eternity?

2. Unless Proposition 8 passes, California society will soon undergo a profound change in its basic understanding of marriage and family life.
That will affect everyone in numerous ways. Over time, greater acceptance of nontraditional marriage will be demanded of all people. This could impact the ability of any religion to teach and practice its beliefs.

So those exhausting GSA presentations were a waste of time! Screw tolerance and acceptance! And it's not like religion hasn't been teaching lies already. They cannot take away the church's right to tell the children that Jesus does in fact hate the gays and lesbians. And for example, a few decades ago, interracial marriage was considered "nontraditional marriage." Look what that "profound change in the basic understanding of marriage and family life" did to us! Now, we have all these half-kids running around being geniuses and complete studs (Takahottie much?)

3. Proposition 8 will not hurt gays and lesbians.
In California, the law provides for marriage-related benefits to be given to civil unions and domestic partnerships. Proposition 8 does not diminish these benefits.

Bob and Bill sitting in a tree
k i s s i n g
first comes love
then comes civil union and domestic partnerships
then comes adopted baby in a baby carriage.

4. Failure to pass Proposition 8 will hurt children.
If same-sex marriage remains legal, public schools will put it on equal footing with traditional marriage. Children will likely receive “age appropriate” information about sexual relations within heterosexual and homosexual marriages.

I'd say that the dreaded sex-ed unit is long enough the way it is. Really, who wants to learn about the missionary position AND male on male penetration tactics? Because that's totally what we learn in sex-ed: sexual positions. or is it? I can't really remember... in fact I can't really remember learning anything during sex-ed... it's all a bit hazy... what was that "age appropriate" information about seuxal relationship in marriages we learned?

5. Failure to pass Proposition 8 will hurt churches.
The court’s decision will inevitably lead to conflicts with religious liberty and free speech rights. Society will become more and more hostile to traditional beliefs about marriage and family.

Screw the gays and their rights... the churches must protect their religious liberty and rights of free speech! If Prop 8 is denied, everyone will be hatin' on the heterosexual couples. And soon, the majority would become the minority. Because inside everyone is a shy little gay kid waiting to burst free.


SO VOTE YES ON PROP 8

PROTECT MARRIAGE

AND NEW HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF BLOOD PRINCE TRAILER.
THE BEST.

your mom

Yesterday, I was blessed with more words of wisdom from my mother.

It starts with a bad night of sleep for Rachel Cho. I don't remember much but I remember waking up sometime in the middle of the night feeling rather constricted and strangled and whipping off my shirt half-consciously. Honestly, this isn't the first time I've stripped while sleeping, though I do it more in the summer. But usually, I wake up again in about a few hours shivering like a naked snail and put on some clothes again. Please, girlfrain, I am not a ho.

This time, however, I woke up to my mom standing over me with the most puzzled look on her face. She said something in Korean that is not directly translatable but goes something along the lines of "What The Fuck." And then, she sat me down and nuked me early morning with the sex talk.

But let me assure you that sex talks from a to-the-core, pure-at-heart, die-hard Catholic Asian mom aren't your typical birds and bees. Mine was scientific and well proven and completely logical.

Here's the play by play

"I understand that this is the time in your life when you want to try something new and get closer to boys. You probably look at your friends with their boyfriends and wish that you have what they have."

First of all... wow? Not only is that just the most ironic statement I have ever heard but after thinking about it more, I am actually quite hurt by this. Is she not assuming that while my friends are capable of finding love, I fail to get any? Am I that lacking that she automatically assumes that I've never got some?

"You know the difference between dogs and humans? If dogs want to do it, they'll just go out on the street and find a dog to bang. You don't see it here because the dogs are domesticated but I saw it all the time in Korea. They can't control their desires but humans can. We don't just go on the streets and find people to bang."

What are prostitutes for?

"The first time you have sex, it might not seem like a big deal. But your body actually registers the DNA of the first person you have sex with. So if you two break up and you meet someone else, your body will reject his DNA and you won't be able to have babies with him."

And here, I stared into her passionate eyes and nodded. Because you have to admit, this logic completely explains the phenomenon of overpopulation.

I mean really, it is total genius. It could potentially eliminate the bank of pills or condoms you're exposed to in a lifetime. Who needs protection? All you need to do is shack up with some jerk of a boyfriend (or a stranger on the streets!) once and escape pregnancy-- there! you're all set for the rest of your life! You can do whatever and whomever you like because your body's just going to reject that man's poor sperm.

Yes, people, my mother just found a foolproof method of birth control.

"The main point is, just say no."

Oh and the memories of the good old days come flooding in:
-'rachel, have sex with me.'
-'no!'

----------------------------------------------

Ah, no, my story is not over.

I also found that my mother could be a source of my sleeping disorder. It is not merely my inability to manage my time or my total lack of self control.

Over breakfast, (I think it was the same day too! Wow, double whammy!) my mother berated my grogginess (perhaps because she woke up up early morning with a sex talk?).

"When did you sleep?"
"1 30?"
"You slept a whole 7 hours! You only need 6, 4 or 5 even!"

Well okay, it seemed a little ridiculous but understandable. I mean, we are high school students in middle of college applications and SATs...

But then that night, she asked me when I was planning on waking up today.
"9?"
"Then go to sleep at 3 AM. No, wait, since SAT IIs are coming up, sleep at 4."

And then the good ol' memories came flooding back to me, including the time when my mother actually forced me to stay awake until 12 o'clock... when I was 10 years old. I mean, letting a kid stay up late to do something is another story. How can a mother force her child to not sleep? When, or so I thought, most parents complain about the inconsistent and unsatisfying sleep cycles of their teenage children, my mother actually wants me to stay up later than I want to?

Therefore, I concluded that I am nocturnal because I was raised that way and I live in a house of utter madness.

meanwhile... HOMECOMING! WHOOOHOOO

a touch of emo

Such foolish, amateurish belief like karma does not pertain to me because I will eternally be damned with no such hope of redemption. And this perpetual cycle of failure won't stray from my wary sides. At the midpoint, this week has already proven itself to be possibly the biggest tumor my ego, already in shards, of course, has ever encountered.

The tale begins with my mother's epic rage one Tuesday night as I was working on the Barrons SAT writing book. Apparently (though I still have no idea what happened) I fell asleep and committed this infallible taboo in the Cho household. I'm used to the lectures I get when I wake up groggily from naps and such. But perhaps I had unknowingly bent, poked, and pulled the final straw of my mother's patience. I have never heard a voice so deafening from a five foot tall Asian woman, and never have I witnessed such small hands banging at the door with such a force that I could almost hear the door breaking. But oh, the content of her rampant fit might just be the best part. It will forever fascinate me how a simple lecture on taking too many naps strays into a tirade of what a failure I am. Really! That woman's ability to talk is, I have to admit, madly impressive.

My day continued. I wake up to my head being repeated bashed by my beloved Taka and hysterical cries of how I will never learn (learn what, I will never know.) And as all conflicts in this house, my mother comes home with some honey rice cakes and shares her infinite wisdom. And this time, it is sorrowful. "The world is fair. You will get what you put in and lose what you don't deserve."

So now, in all my naked despair, I glorify the emblem of bitter mortification, a simple 2 page essay. It was not just an English assignment. It was sanguine and ingenuous until it met Satan. And then it was too late and it fell feebly into a pile of nothingness, never to be seen, never to be admired, never to make its mark and prove that it ever existed. It is lost. So woe my antics. My foolishness, my thoughtlessness, my immense stroke of bad luck.

...


And on a side note, I'd like to share some of my ingenious riddles:

I, the sapling, shall forever lie with the carnivores of spring.
The branches of the father tree bend slyly where their dwelling be.

I dare you to try figuring them out. I hope that is a provocation enough.

---

And I hereby forever rest my crown on blockles.