RACHEL'S NEW YEARS RESOLUTION!
1. Get license
2. Never miss appointments
3. Use planner
4. Maximum of 2 hours for games per day
5. Don't borrow money
6. Stop depending on Jon Stewart for the news
7. Work out.
8. Follow to-do lists and self-made schedules
9. only 1 tardy per week
10. Suit up
Merry Christmas! I'll be spending mine at church. Yearly 3 hour masses. Fun.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Saturday, December 20, 2008
sixty-nine
congrats to anorexic turtle for its 69th post! :D (I'm very mature)
on a bigger note
I AM A SECOND SEMESTER SENIOR
As we venture into the seductive realm of second semester, I slightly fear how the next 6 months of our lives will play out. I wonder whether my procrastination can get any worse, how many tears (and blood) will be shed over colleges, and how much I will miss Lynbrook...
And technically, I'm not completely everything the title "second-semester-senior" embodies since I've still got college applications to do...
and speaking of apps, I'm being pressured by everyone in my family to finish them ASAP since they're all bored and lazy and want to do something over break beside watch me procrastinate and nag at me. And I suppose this may be the last time our whole family is in one place over the holidays so... hopefully that is motivation enough.
yesterday I went ate Indian food for the first time. Despite the distinct Indian-food smell, the food was actually quite nice. It's just like really strong and spicy Thai food, which is one of my guilty pleasure cuisines. I ate myself silly, then watched Nothing like the holidays which was... and interesting movie. More interesting, however, were the really sketchy noises coming from the row behind us since we oh so thoughtfully sat in the 2nd to last row.
I also want to brag about my successful (semi) hiatus from blockles. on 11/21, I publicly declared my blockles break, and everyone laughed at my naivete. "Sure you are." "That's what you think." "Good luck." Hover, after a few days of inadvertently typing in blockles.com in the search bar and promptly closing the tab, I was rather blockles-sober. I even forgot about the hiatus after a while, and I went days without thinking about the game again; it wasn't until the orchestra concert (damn twins) that I saw another game. So, I did technically end up breaking my hiatus, but I have to say that my intention was to merely get over an addiction, and that is exactly what I did. So in the end, WHO BE CHAMPION NOW?
That has been my life as a 2nd semester senior as of now. And of course, there's winter formal but my neopets await.
peace
on a bigger note
I AM A SECOND SEMESTER SENIOR
As we venture into the seductive realm of second semester, I slightly fear how the next 6 months of our lives will play out. I wonder whether my procrastination can get any worse, how many tears (and blood) will be shed over colleges, and how much I will miss Lynbrook...
And technically, I'm not completely everything the title "second-semester-senior" embodies since I've still got college applications to do...
and speaking of apps, I'm being pressured by everyone in my family to finish them ASAP since they're all bored and lazy and want to do something over break beside watch me procrastinate and nag at me. And I suppose this may be the last time our whole family is in one place over the holidays so... hopefully that is motivation enough.
yesterday I went ate Indian food for the first time. Despite the distinct Indian-food smell, the food was actually quite nice. It's just like really strong and spicy Thai food, which is one of my guilty pleasure cuisines. I ate myself silly, then watched Nothing like the holidays which was... and interesting movie. More interesting, however, were the really sketchy noises coming from the row behind us since we oh so thoughtfully sat in the 2nd to last row.
I also want to brag about my successful (semi) hiatus from blockles. on 11/21, I publicly declared my blockles break, and everyone laughed at my naivete. "Sure you are." "That's what you think." "Good luck." Hover, after a few days of inadvertently typing in blockles.com in the search bar and promptly closing the tab, I was rather blockles-sober. I even forgot about the hiatus after a while, and I went days without thinking about the game again; it wasn't until the orchestra concert (damn twins) that I saw another game. So, I did technically end up breaking my hiatus, but I have to say that my intention was to merely get over an addiction, and that is exactly what I did. So in the end, WHO BE CHAMPION NOW?
That has been my life as a 2nd semester senior as of now. And of course, there's winter formal but my neopets await.
peace
Monday, December 1, 2008
except my life
good evening, ladies and gentlemen
I introduce to you tonight's segment of
F M L
what is happiness?
DETAILS, DETAILS ABOVE ALL!... IT'S THESE DETAILS THAT RUIN EVERYTHING ALWAYS
99/100
I introduce to you tonight's segment of
F M L
what is happiness?
DETAILS, DETAILS ABOVE ALL!... IT'S THESE DETAILS THAT RUIN EVERYTHING ALWAYS
99/100
Sunday, November 16, 2008
1 more month
Watch more YouTube videos on AOL Video
I CANNOT WAIT FOR THIS TO COME OUT 7/17
1 more month until second semester seniorism! Though this November and December will be really difficult to push through, and especially with my superb time management skills...
College applications are really a pain. I honestly regret casting them aside this summer to wallow in my self pity. Meh.
My mom gave me a good talk (lecture... rant) about my inability to wake up. Because apparently, on Saturday, she called me three times at 10 AM but I ended up waking up at 12. And she, I quote, said, "THERE'S NO WAY YOU COULDN'T HAVE HEARD IT. THEN YOU REALLY HAVE PROBLEMS." And I nodded here and admitted that I probably fell back asleep. But the truth, O! THE TRUTH, is that I really did not hear any phone ringing. All I remember is waking up at 8 to my mother screeching across the house to wake up and then passing out again until 12. So oh my prophetic soul, I have problems. And now I wonder how I'll survive college. If alarms and phones won't wake me... what and who will?
But alas, I can only hope I change this habit. After all, CHANGE IS COMING TO AMERICA!
there's my corny ending.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
YES ON PROP 8
See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die
REASONS TO VOTE FOR PROP 8
1. Having tolerance without condoning.
We can love someone while still maintaining and advocating our standards and beliefs.
While we're at it, might as well abolish marriage itself. We'd effectively be maintaining and advocating our standards and beliefs, whatever that is, and it'd eliminate the notion of infidelity since "cheating on your wife" would no longer exist. Why marry when we can just love? Isn't loving enough? Who needs marriage and family and spouses and relationships that last for eternity?
2. Unless Proposition 8 passes, California society will soon undergo a profound change in its basic understanding of marriage and family life.
That will affect everyone in numerous ways. Over time, greater acceptance of nontraditional marriage will be demanded of all people. This could impact the ability of any religion to teach and practice its beliefs.
So those exhausting GSA presentations were a waste of time! Screw tolerance and acceptance! And it's not like religion hasn't been teaching lies already. They cannot take away the church's right to tell the children that Jesus does in fact hate the gays and lesbians. And for example, a few decades ago, interracial marriage was considered "nontraditional marriage." Look what that "profound change in the basic understanding of marriage and family life" did to us! Now, we have all these half-kids running around being geniuses and complete studs (Takahottie much?)
3. Proposition 8 will not hurt gays and lesbians.
In California, the law provides for marriage-related benefits to be given to civil unions and domestic partnerships. Proposition 8 does not diminish these benefits.
Bob and Bill sitting in a tree
k i s s i n g
first comes love
then comes civil union and domestic partnerships
then comes adopted baby in a baby carriage.
4. Failure to pass Proposition 8 will hurt children.
If same-sex marriage remains legal, public schools will put it on equal footing with traditional marriage. Children will likely receive “age appropriate” information about sexual relations within heterosexual and homosexual marriages.
I'd say that the dreaded sex-ed unit is long enough the way it is. Really, who wants to learn about the missionary position AND male on male penetration tactics? Because that's totally what we learn in sex-ed: sexual positions. or is it? I can't really remember... in fact I can't really remember learning anything during sex-ed... it's all a bit hazy... what was that "age appropriate" information about seuxal relationship in marriages we learned?
5. Failure to pass Proposition 8 will hurt churches.
The court’s decision will inevitably lead to conflicts with religious liberty and free speech rights. Society will become more and more hostile to traditional beliefs about marriage and family.
Screw the gays and their rights... the churches must protect their religious liberty and rights of free speech! If Prop 8 is denied, everyone will be hatin' on the heterosexual couples. And soon, the majority would become the minority. Because inside everyone is a shy little gay kid waiting to burst free.
SO VOTE YES ON PROP 8
PROTECT MARRIAGE
AND NEW HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF BLOOD PRINCE TRAILER.
THE BEST.
Monday, October 13, 2008
your mom
Yesterday, I was blessed with more words of wisdom from my mother.
It starts with a bad night of sleep for Rachel Cho. I don't remember much but I remember waking up sometime in the middle of the night feeling rather constricted and strangled and whipping off my shirt half-consciously. Honestly, this isn't the first time I've stripped while sleeping, though I do it more in the summer. But usually, I wake up again in about a few hours shivering like a naked snail and put on some clothes again. Please, girlfrain, I am not a ho.
This time, however, I woke up to my mom standing over me with the most puzzled look on her face. She said something in Korean that is not directly translatable but goes something along the lines of "What The Fuck." And then, she sat me down and nuked me early morning with the sex talk.
But let me assure you that sex talks from a to-the-core, pure-at-heart, die-hard Catholic Asian mom aren't your typical birds and bees. Mine was scientific and well proven and completely logical.
Here's the play by play
"I understand that this is the time in your life when you want to try something new and get closer to boys. You probably look at your friends with their boyfriends and wish that you have what they have."
First of all... wow? Not only is that just the most ironic statement I have ever heard but after thinking about it more, I am actually quite hurt by this. Is she not assuming that while my friends are capable of finding love, I fail to get any? Am I that lacking that she automatically assumes that I've never got some?
"You know the difference between dogs and humans? If dogs want to do it, they'll just go out on the street and find a dog to bang. You don't see it here because the dogs are domesticated but I saw it all the time in Korea. They can't control their desires but humans can. We don't just go on the streets and find people to bang."
What are prostitutes for?
"The first time you have sex, it might not seem like a big deal. But your body actually registers the DNA of the first person you have sex with. So if you two break up and you meet someone else, your body will reject his DNA and you won't be able to have babies with him."
And here, I stared into her passionate eyes and nodded. Because you have to admit, this logic completely explains the phenomenon of overpopulation.
I mean really, it is total genius. It could potentially eliminate the bank of pills or condoms you're exposed to in a lifetime. Who needs protection? All you need to do is shack up with some jerk of a boyfriend (or a stranger on the streets!) once and escape pregnancy-- there! you're all set for the rest of your life! You can do whatever and whomever you like because your body's just going to reject that man's poor sperm.
Yes, people, my mother just found a foolproof method of birth control.
"The main point is, just say no."
Oh and the memories of the good old days come flooding in:
-'rachel, have sex with me.'
-'no!'
----------------------------------------------
Ah, no, my story is not over.
I also found that my mother could be a source of my sleeping disorder. It is not merely my inability to manage my time or my total lack of self control.
Over breakfast, (I think it was the same day too! Wow, double whammy!) my mother berated my grogginess (perhaps because she woke up up early morning with a sex talk?).
"When did you sleep?"
"1 30?"
"You slept a whole 7 hours! You only need 6, 4 or 5 even!"
Well okay, it seemed a little ridiculous but understandable. I mean, we are high school students in middle of college applications and SATs...
But then that night, she asked me when I was planning on waking up today.
"9?"
"Then go to sleep at 3 AM. No, wait, since SAT IIs are coming up, sleep at 4."
And then the good ol' memories came flooding back to me, including the time when my mother actually forced me to stay awake until 12 o'clock... when I was 10 years old. I mean, letting a kid stay up late to do something is another story. How can a mother force her child to not sleep? When, or so I thought, most parents complain about the inconsistent and unsatisfying sleep cycles of their teenage children, my mother actually wants me to stay up later than I want to?
Therefore, I concluded that I am nocturnal because I was raised that way and I live in a house of utter madness.
meanwhile... HOMECOMING! WHOOOHOOO
It starts with a bad night of sleep for Rachel Cho. I don't remember much but I remember waking up sometime in the middle of the night feeling rather constricted and strangled and whipping off my shirt half-consciously. Honestly, this isn't the first time I've stripped while sleeping, though I do it more in the summer. But usually, I wake up again in about a few hours shivering like a naked snail and put on some clothes again. Please, girlfrain, I am not a ho.
This time, however, I woke up to my mom standing over me with the most puzzled look on her face. She said something in Korean that is not directly translatable but goes something along the lines of "What The Fuck." And then, she sat me down and nuked me early morning with the sex talk.
But let me assure you that sex talks from a to-the-core, pure-at-heart, die-hard Catholic Asian mom aren't your typical birds and bees. Mine was scientific and well proven and completely logical.
Here's the play by play
"I understand that this is the time in your life when you want to try something new and get closer to boys. You probably look at your friends with their boyfriends and wish that you have what they have."
First of all... wow? Not only is that just the most ironic statement I have ever heard but after thinking about it more, I am actually quite hurt by this. Is she not assuming that while my friends are capable of finding love, I fail to get any? Am I that lacking that she automatically assumes that I've never got some?
"You know the difference between dogs and humans? If dogs want to do it, they'll just go out on the street and find a dog to bang. You don't see it here because the dogs are domesticated but I saw it all the time in Korea. They can't control their desires but humans can. We don't just go on the streets and find people to bang."
What are prostitutes for?
"The first time you have sex, it might not seem like a big deal. But your body actually registers the DNA of the first person you have sex with. So if you two break up and you meet someone else, your body will reject his DNA and you won't be able to have babies with him."
And here, I stared into her passionate eyes and nodded. Because you have to admit, this logic completely explains the phenomenon of overpopulation.
I mean really, it is total genius. It could potentially eliminate the bank of pills or condoms you're exposed to in a lifetime. Who needs protection? All you need to do is shack up with some jerk of a boyfriend (or a stranger on the streets!) once and escape pregnancy-- there! you're all set for the rest of your life! You can do whatever and whomever you like because your body's just going to reject that man's poor sperm.
Yes, people, my mother just found a foolproof method of birth control.
"The main point is, just say no."
Oh and the memories of the good old days come flooding in:
-'rachel, have sex with me.'
-'no!'
----------------------------------------------
Ah, no, my story is not over.
I also found that my mother could be a source of my sleeping disorder. It is not merely my inability to manage my time or my total lack of self control.
Over breakfast, (I think it was the same day too! Wow, double whammy!) my mother berated my grogginess (perhaps because she woke up up early morning with a sex talk?).
"When did you sleep?"
"1 30?"
"You slept a whole 7 hours! You only need 6, 4 or 5 even!"
Well okay, it seemed a little ridiculous but understandable. I mean, we are high school students in middle of college applications and SATs...
But then that night, she asked me when I was planning on waking up today.
"9?"
"Then go to sleep at 3 AM. No, wait, since SAT IIs are coming up, sleep at 4."
And then the good ol' memories came flooding back to me, including the time when my mother actually forced me to stay awake until 12 o'clock... when I was 10 years old. I mean, letting a kid stay up late to do something is another story. How can a mother force her child to not sleep? When, or so I thought, most parents complain about the inconsistent and unsatisfying sleep cycles of their teenage children, my mother actually wants me to stay up later than I want to?
Therefore, I concluded that I am nocturnal because I was raised that way and I live in a house of utter madness.
meanwhile... HOMECOMING! WHOOOHOOO
Thursday, October 2, 2008
a touch of emo
Such foolish, amateurish belief like karma does not pertain to me because I will eternally be damned with no such hope of redemption. And this perpetual cycle of failure won't stray from my wary sides. At the midpoint, this week has already proven itself to be possibly the biggest tumor my ego, already in shards, of course, has ever encountered.
The tale begins with my mother's epic rage one Tuesday night as I was working on the Barrons SAT writing book. Apparently (though I still have no idea what happened) I fell asleep and committed this infallible taboo in the Cho household. I'm used to the lectures I get when I wake up groggily from naps and such. But perhaps I had unknowingly bent, poked, and pulled the final straw of my mother's patience. I have never heard a voice so deafening from a five foot tall Asian woman, and never have I witnessed such small hands banging at the door with such a force that I could almost hear the door breaking. But oh, the content of her rampant fit might just be the best part. It will forever fascinate me how a simple lecture on taking too many naps strays into a tirade of what a failure I am. Really! That woman's ability to talk is, I have to admit, madly impressive.
My day continued. I wake up to my head being repeated bashed by my beloved Taka and hysterical cries of how I will never learn (learn what, I will never know.) And as all conflicts in this house, my mother comes home with some honey rice cakes and shares her infinite wisdom. And this time, it is sorrowful. "The world is fair. You will get what you put in and lose what you don't deserve."
So now, in all my naked despair, I glorify the emblem of bitter mortification, a simple 2 page essay. It was not just an English assignment. It was sanguine and ingenuous until it met Satan. And then it was too late and it fell feebly into a pile of nothingness, never to be seen, never to be admired, never to make its mark and prove that it ever existed. It is lost. So woe my antics. My foolishness, my thoughtlessness, my immense stroke of bad luck.
...
And on a side note, I'd like to share some of my ingenious riddles:
I, the sapling, shall forever lie with the carnivores of spring.
The branches of the father tree bend slyly where their dwelling be.
I dare you to try figuring them out. I hope that is a provocation enough.
---
And I hereby forever rest my crown on blockles.
Saturday, September 13, 2008
tensai
What an exhausting week. I think I averaged roughly 3 hours of sleep every night this week, if not less. But in my defense, I really don't understand how anybody can sleep for 7 hours on a school night
In other news, blockles has taken over my life. It is all I do. And I play shamelessly. At home with my dad or mom in the desk right next to mine, at work, at a friend's house... but it's become an addiction. I get withdrawal symptoms after about three hours of blockle-free time.
My dad's home which means good food! Today, we went out for sushi (FINALLY!) at a quaint place called Satsuma Sushi in Mountain View. I had this orgasmic roll with cream cheese, salmon, eel, avocado deep fried in tempura and seasoned with a special teriyaki house sauce. And we had a 70 dollar platter of pure sashimi and nigiri. Multiple orgasm.
Of course, that's not the only reason why I am so excited to have my dad home...
Really!
meanwhile, this college application process is still a pain in the ass. And no, not in a Sex & Mutilation way or feminine rhyme way (AP lit related inside jokes) but in a "this is going to be the death of me" way. I was really offended when my sister told me that she knew I'd fuck myself over with college apps because of my great time management skills but I have to admit, sadly, that she is frighteningly right.
But even though college and etc is a bitch, I wouldn't give up my senior year so far for anything.
a booger just flew out of my nose.
there, I end my post on that strange note.
In other news, blockles has taken over my life. It is all I do. And I play shamelessly. At home with my dad or mom in the desk right next to mine, at work, at a friend's house... but it's become an addiction. I get withdrawal symptoms after about three hours of blockle-free time.
My dad's home which means good food! Today, we went out for sushi (FINALLY!) at a quaint place called Satsuma Sushi in Mountain View. I had this orgasmic roll with cream cheese, salmon, eel, avocado deep fried in tempura and seasoned with a special teriyaki house sauce. And we had a 70 dollar platter of pure sashimi and nigiri. Multiple orgasm.
Of course, that's not the only reason why I am so excited to have my dad home...
Really!
meanwhile, this college application process is still a pain in the ass. And no, not in a Sex & Mutilation way or feminine rhyme way (AP lit related inside jokes) but in a "this is going to be the death of me" way. I was really offended when my sister told me that she knew I'd fuck myself over with college apps because of my great time management skills but I have to admit, sadly, that she is frighteningly right.
But even though college and etc is a bitch, I wouldn't give up my senior year so far for anything.
a booger just flew out of my nose.
there, I end my post on that strange note.
Sunday, September 7, 2008
brain sex
I recently took a fascinating gender test to determine what the sex of my brain really is. I was mildly surprised [or not] to learn that I am apparently genderless. Whether this is a good or bad thing is questionable but I am quite relieved that I didn't get categorized as a man.
These days, my diet has been consisted of mostly watermelons. And not to be biased or anything but I truly believe that Korean watermelons are ichiban (not like I've had any other kind of watermelon besides American or Korean). I don't really fancy the seeds but it's totally worth it in the end.
I'm very stressed and very lax at the same time. It's not the best situation, really. Just thinking about the SATs or college apps makes me sick and consequently, I don't think about them at all and since I don't think about it, I get even more frazzled. And I quote Epik High's "One," - time is ticking, t-time is ticking away. fuck!
anyways, what a pointless post. I had so many things to rant about as I opened anorexic turtle but after I got my first point down, my mind came to a blank. short term memory FTW.
These days, my diet has been consisted of mostly watermelons. And not to be biased or anything but I truly believe that Korean watermelons are ichiban (not like I've had any other kind of watermelon besides American or Korean). I don't really fancy the seeds but it's totally worth it in the end.
I'm very stressed and very lax at the same time. It's not the best situation, really. Just thinking about the SATs or college apps makes me sick and consequently, I don't think about them at all and since I don't think about it, I get even more frazzled. And I quote Epik High's "One," - time is ticking, t-time is ticking away. fuck!
anyways, what a pointless post. I had so many things to rant about as I opened anorexic turtle but after I got my first point down, my mind came to a blank. short term memory FTW.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
senior year thus far
IS A PARTY
Not for long, of course. Soon, I'll actually have to get cracking on SATs and those goddamn college apps and go through that infamous first semester senior yeardom.
but as of now, I am enjoying every carefree minute of it.
Meanwhile, my mother and I have been making plans to go to Korea over Christmas break. I blanched at the thought of Korea for a while now, after it ruined my life the summer before my sophomore year, but I've never been in Korea when it was snowy and beautiful so I am indescribably excited.
I've also found that my family's slight economic situation has driven me to be almost unhealthily conscious of where my money goes. I know it's natural to do so, especially since most seniors are graced with five classes and it is too easy to grab a lunch at Burger King or Frutti Gelato after school. So not only am I gaining weight profusely but I am also spending like noneother. Anyways, I've found this inevitable stinginess to be a bit troublesome since it's also a burden to my friends when deciding what and where to eat; it's tough eating out on a budget. Hence, we've been stuck with oily fries and onion rings from Burger King as a regular lunch menu. And there lies that inexplicable catch-22. but not really.
It also makes me so sad to think of how my musical tastes have changed over the years. It's also very shocking because I tend to stick obstinately to my likes and dislikes but I've started being more lenient on the different kinds of music I listen to. For instance, four years ago, I NEVER would have downloaded a song like "Baby, one more time" by a Korean GIRL band. Mind blowing.
Anyhow, after saving the world from further destruction by choosing to walk and bike over slack off in an air conditioned car, I feel utterly repulsive inside and out. This is where I leave you.
On a side note,
two words: Sarah Palin?!
-Peace!
Not for long, of course. Soon, I'll actually have to get cracking on SATs and those goddamn college apps and go through that infamous first semester senior yeardom.
but as of now, I am enjoying every carefree minute of it.
Meanwhile, my mother and I have been making plans to go to Korea over Christmas break. I blanched at the thought of Korea for a while now, after it ruined my life the summer before my sophomore year, but I've never been in Korea when it was snowy and beautiful so I am indescribably excited.
I've also found that my family's slight economic situation has driven me to be almost unhealthily conscious of where my money goes. I know it's natural to do so, especially since most seniors are graced with five classes and it is too easy to grab a lunch at Burger King or Frutti Gelato after school. So not only am I gaining weight profusely but I am also spending like noneother. Anyways, I've found this inevitable stinginess to be a bit troublesome since it's also a burden to my friends when deciding what and where to eat; it's tough eating out on a budget. Hence, we've been stuck with oily fries and onion rings from Burger King as a regular lunch menu. And there lies that inexplicable catch-22. but not really.
It also makes me so sad to think of how my musical tastes have changed over the years. It's also very shocking because I tend to stick obstinately to my likes and dislikes but I've started being more lenient on the different kinds of music I listen to. For instance, four years ago, I NEVER would have downloaded a song like "Baby, one more time" by a Korean GIRL band. Mind blowing.
Anyhow, after saving the world from further destruction by choosing to walk and bike over slack off in an air conditioned car, I feel utterly repulsive inside and out. This is where I leave you.
On a side note,
two words: Sarah Palin?!
-Peace!
Saturday, August 23, 2008
you are my creator but I am your master; obey
I am still ridiculously behind on summer homework but for some reason, that does not prod at my apparently dormant nervous conscience. So therefore, we move on...
As this is my last weekend before my senior year in high school, I'd like to dedicate this entry to a very forgettable summer.
Of course, I am thoroughly disappointed with my summer because of my inability to meet any of the goals I set up in the beginning of break. I underestimated the workload in both my De Anza classes and was not able to manage my time efficiently to balance classes, college apps, SATs, summer homework, and of course, friends. Hence, running on an hour or two of sleep every day and allowing De Anza to dominate every minute of my limited time, I inevitably fell into a bitter pit of depression, isolation, and incurable insomnia. I realized that my determination to work towards a healthy body and mind were merely idealistic dreams. I should have known they would fail earlier since I am not a go-getter. I am a lazy slacker and it takes more than just a exercise-holic sister to get me up in the morning to run 2-3 miles.
So generally, this summer has been something short of disaster. Besides the kickass 08 ECYS retreat and the few brief meetings with TFC & others, let us toast to this miserable summer vacation and hope it never crosses paths in our fading memories again.
On the side note, I've been thinking a lot about race and our neighborhood and though I am, as jacq has mentioned, a lazy slacker and do not feel up to typing it all out, there are some things I found just too dismal to pass up. For example, I yearn so much to get out of this hellhole asap but I realized that once I do, I probably will not be able to handle the different environment. The bubble we live in grows smaller and smaller as the area we grow up in becomes more and more pressured. Also, the fact that I have a ridiculously overbearing Korean mother does not make my unfortunate case any better. Story of my life.
But besides those qualms and doubts, I am mostly excited for my future. I daydream about my independence constantly, I make more optimistic plans and goals, and I always imagine myself 10 years from now to see what and how I'm doing. And although an unmentioned classmate has berated and questioned me about my inability to decide on a specific career or major choice, I feel no shame to admit so. I feel that going to college with a narrow minded focus in one subject intrudes on the actual significance of college.
On another side note, I am currently addicted to the Olympics. I forced myself to do gov homework after getting home from the library but by the time it's around 9, my eyes are glued to the TV. I don't remember ever being so deeply involved in the Olympics. Watching the little midget armies spin around on bars or anorexic Chinese girls dive into the pool with barely a plop in the water has never been so fascinating!
And on yet another side note, I finally understood how Jacqueline ended up with back problems after junior year. And I bow down to her courageous soul. After only three days in the library, even with numerous ADD induced breaks in between, I have been plagued with a straining pain in my upper-left back. On Wednesday, I could barely even breathe without feeling the pain shoot up again. So today, I had my first trip to the chiropractor who actually made the last minute visit quite pleasant. I received some sort of electric something and acupuncture- not too rough- and a really soothing massage. And then, my chiro came in again and cracked my joints, as if cracking a glowstick. I really couldn't help but to let out a gasping "Holy shit" when he did this because just hearing the joints crack was mindblowing.
Anyways, I must start waking up earlier because at this rate, I have no idea how I will even be half conscious at 7: 30 AM when school starts.
-IN the news, Obama finally picked his veep, Senator Joseph Biden from Delaware! :D I know Jacqueline is a McCain follower but I've got great feelings about this. I am, after all, the "raging liberal teenager" -_____-
PEACE OUT!
As this is my last weekend before my senior year in high school, I'd like to dedicate this entry to a very forgettable summer.
Of course, I am thoroughly disappointed with my summer because of my inability to meet any of the goals I set up in the beginning of break. I underestimated the workload in both my De Anza classes and was not able to manage my time efficiently to balance classes, college apps, SATs, summer homework, and of course, friends. Hence, running on an hour or two of sleep every day and allowing De Anza to dominate every minute of my limited time, I inevitably fell into a bitter pit of depression, isolation, and incurable insomnia. I realized that my determination to work towards a healthy body and mind were merely idealistic dreams. I should have known they would fail earlier since I am not a go-getter. I am a lazy slacker and it takes more than just a exercise-holic sister to get me up in the morning to run 2-3 miles.
So generally, this summer has been something short of disaster. Besides the kickass 08 ECYS retreat and the few brief meetings with TFC & others, let us toast to this miserable summer vacation and hope it never crosses paths in our fading memories again.
On the side note, I've been thinking a lot about race and our neighborhood and though I am, as jacq has mentioned, a lazy slacker and do not feel up to typing it all out, there are some things I found just too dismal to pass up. For example, I yearn so much to get out of this hellhole asap but I realized that once I do, I probably will not be able to handle the different environment. The bubble we live in grows smaller and smaller as the area we grow up in becomes more and more pressured. Also, the fact that I have a ridiculously overbearing Korean mother does not make my unfortunate case any better. Story of my life.
But besides those qualms and doubts, I am mostly excited for my future. I daydream about my independence constantly, I make more optimistic plans and goals, and I always imagine myself 10 years from now to see what and how I'm doing. And although an unmentioned classmate has berated and questioned me about my inability to decide on a specific career or major choice, I feel no shame to admit so. I feel that going to college with a narrow minded focus in one subject intrudes on the actual significance of college.
On another side note, I am currently addicted to the Olympics. I forced myself to do gov homework after getting home from the library but by the time it's around 9, my eyes are glued to the TV. I don't remember ever being so deeply involved in the Olympics. Watching the little midget armies spin around on bars or anorexic Chinese girls dive into the pool with barely a plop in the water has never been so fascinating!
And on yet another side note, I finally understood how Jacqueline ended up with back problems after junior year. And I bow down to her courageous soul. After only three days in the library, even with numerous ADD induced breaks in between, I have been plagued with a straining pain in my upper-left back. On Wednesday, I could barely even breathe without feeling the pain shoot up again. So today, I had my first trip to the chiropractor who actually made the last minute visit quite pleasant. I received some sort of electric something and acupuncture- not too rough- and a really soothing massage. And then, my chiro came in again and cracked my joints, as if cracking a glowstick. I really couldn't help but to let out a gasping "Holy shit" when he did this because just hearing the joints crack was mindblowing.
Anyways, I must start waking up earlier because at this rate, I have no idea how I will even be half conscious at 7: 30 AM when school starts.
-IN the news, Obama finally picked his veep, Senator Joseph Biden from Delaware! :D I know Jacqueline is a McCain follower but I've got great feelings about this. I am, after all, the "raging liberal teenager" -_____-
PEACE OUT!
Friday, August 15, 2008
rachel is lazy, but i forgive her
I forgive you for everything, Rachel- girl with A.D.D., because you are still on Chapter 1 of AP Gov summer homework and Chapter 5 of Catch-22 (last I checked, which was yesterday). Please, get a move on.
On another note, I myself am screwed for gov simply because the book repels me. Not as much as Rachel, no, but nonetheless, I am far, far from done- maybe 200 pages off + the supplemental reading. Which brings me to this case: how can one lady be so absurdly enticed by the Constitution that she feels the need to annotate every word and consequently blow up one document into a fairly thick novel? And another: how can some of my classmates be so idle as to actually take detailed notes on a book that is already essentially, notes?
Regardless of what people like to do in their spare time, I am currently working on my personal statement for college apps at Admissions Academy. I am sorry to say that I think that out of all the students at the center, I am the farthest behind. As I sneakily sneak a peek at everyone's screens, I see that no one plays Pacman as I do, no one is constantly opening up the browser to email. In fact, everyone has a word document pulled up, full of text, and painstakingly typing at 234098 rpm. I am the A.D.D. princess of this lovely institution.
I am also sick... or I have extensive allergies that make me what to rip my skin off, claw out my eyeballs, and replace my nose with one that if fully functioning. I am hoping my unhealthy symptoms are not due to the latter because knowing that allergies, an inherent facet of my life, are causing me so much agony and will do so for the rest of my existence is just too much for me to handle.
My cousin recently immigrated from Asia just last week. No, she is not here to visit; she is here to stay. At a tender age of 17, soon to be 18 on September first... I admire her courage and sheer will. I would never be able to stick myself in a foreign land with my inadequate foreign language skills and be prepared to live there. Forever. And get a foreign education, a foreign job, a foreign husband, and foreign-ly procreate. Kudos!
I will now depart to allow my counselor dissect my writing.
On another note, I myself am screwed for gov simply because the book repels me. Not as much as Rachel, no, but nonetheless, I am far, far from done- maybe 200 pages off + the supplemental reading. Which brings me to this case: how can one lady be so absurdly enticed by the Constitution that she feels the need to annotate every word and consequently blow up one document into a fairly thick novel? And another: how can some of my classmates be so idle as to actually take detailed notes on a book that is already essentially, notes?
Regardless of what people like to do in their spare time, I am currently working on my personal statement for college apps at Admissions Academy. I am sorry to say that I think that out of all the students at the center, I am the farthest behind. As I sneakily sneak a peek at everyone's screens, I see that no one plays Pacman as I do, no one is constantly opening up the browser to email. In fact, everyone has a word document pulled up, full of text, and painstakingly typing at 234098 rpm. I am the A.D.D. princess of this lovely institution.
I am also sick... or I have extensive allergies that make me what to rip my skin off, claw out my eyeballs, and replace my nose with one that if fully functioning. I am hoping my unhealthy symptoms are not due to the latter because knowing that allergies, an inherent facet of my life, are causing me so much agony and will do so for the rest of my existence is just too much for me to handle.
My cousin recently immigrated from Asia just last week. No, she is not here to visit; she is here to stay. At a tender age of 17, soon to be 18 on September first... I admire her courage and sheer will. I would never be able to stick myself in a foreign land with my inadequate foreign language skills and be prepared to live there. Forever. And get a foreign education, a foreign job, a foreign husband, and foreign-ly procreate. Kudos!
I will now depart to allow my counselor dissect my writing.
Saturday, August 9, 2008
exhilaration
It's too bad that I passed out at around 9 30 pm last night and I didn't get to watch all of the opening ceremony because I have never felt so completely overwhelmed with emotions and exhilaration. I could feel my heart synchronizing with the beats of the 2008 drums and I teared when the kids came out with all their cultural costumes and soldiers. I mean, I remember watching the opening ceremony every Olympic game but I have never felt the presence of so much unity and passion and dedication. I think last night I fully understood the meaning of the Olympic games and, specifically, the significance of this 2008 Olympic to Chinese people. I have always watched the Olympics with half an eye since I never had much interest in sports but I realized Olympics isn't just a bunch of countries competing for some medals. It's every country from around the world joining as one under the same roof and it's China proving themselves to everyone watching and it's a moment for new heroes to shine and prosper.
all I'm trying to say is that the opening ceremony was FUCKING BEAUTIFUL and FUCKING MIND BLOWING.
AND SPEAKING OF MIND BLOWING?
What is happening in the world?! Bernie Mac dead? Edwards had an affair? Russia raged war on Georgia? JOSHUA won so you think you can dance?!
WORLD'S GONE MAD
but what's really gone mad is ECYS IN THE H-ZIZZLE.
like I have NEVER enjoyed ecys camp so thoroughly. I mean who would enjoy 8 hours of violin or cello or any orchestra instrument so much.
BUT MAN IT WAS SO MUCH FUN.
i'd say more but I'll leave that up to jacqueline to do alone with the FTTS post.
SOOOOOOOOO
PEACE OUT
BUT NOT SINCE RUSSIA IS GOING FREAKING APESHIT! WTF?!
all I'm trying to say is that the opening ceremony was FUCKING BEAUTIFUL and FUCKING MIND BLOWING.
AND SPEAKING OF MIND BLOWING?
What is happening in the world?! Bernie Mac dead? Edwards had an affair? Russia raged war on Georgia? JOSHUA won so you think you can dance?!
WORLD'S GONE MAD
but what's really gone mad is ECYS IN THE H-ZIZZLE.
like I have NEVER enjoyed ecys camp so thoroughly. I mean who would enjoy 8 hours of violin or cello or any orchestra instrument so much.
BUT MAN IT WAS SO MUCH FUN.
i'd say more but I'll leave that up to jacqueline to do alone with the FTTS post.
SOOOOOOOOO
PEACE OUT
BUT NOT SINCE RUSSIA IS GOING FREAKING APESHIT! WTF?!
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
I do miss people!
And alas, I am not all so pathetic.
Today, as I was sitting on the couch daydreaming, I thought to myself, wow, I really do miss human contact. Well, not exactly human contact. I mean, I miss contact from a few people. And I miss people. I miss TFC-even the damn table itself. I miss my wife, my mother, my other mother, my father, my ex-violin teacher, my 5th grade teacher, my sanity...
Anyhow, these thoughts are reassuring as I study (relentlessly) for my psych midterm. I just started studying a little less than an hour ago with many distractions but I'm not worried because, well, I'm an insomniac.
The point is that I do have feelings! And I don't know why you'd ever want to let go of these, Jacqueline, because the air's cleaner here. Do you see this positivity here? That's called Rachel turning over a new leaf. Optimism FTW.
Peace! And may the force be with me on this midterm... I think I actually need it
Today, as I was sitting on the couch daydreaming, I thought to myself, wow, I really do miss human contact. Well, not exactly human contact. I mean, I miss contact from a few people. And I miss people. I miss TFC-even the damn table itself. I miss my wife, my mother, my other mother, my father, my ex-violin teacher, my 5th grade teacher, my sanity...
Anyhow, these thoughts are reassuring as I study (relentlessly) for my psych midterm. I just started studying a little less than an hour ago with many distractions but I'm not worried because, well, I'm an insomniac.
The point is that I do have feelings! And I don't know why you'd ever want to let go of these, Jacqueline, because the air's cleaner here. Do you see this positivity here? That's called Rachel turning over a new leaf. Optimism FTW.
Peace! And may the force be with me on this midterm... I think I actually need it
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
good genes.
recently, I crashed my (not mine, a friend's) bike into a pole. I fell and bled. Making a fuss, I took a shower with one hand today, skived off of doing the dishes, went through 3 band-aids, watched it turn a strange greenish hue, and finally decided to let the scar sit nude and uncared for. I proceeded with my day, reading Twilight (which I hate to admit is quite a page turner) and watching Grey's Anatomy, carefully abandoning this nuisance on the palm of my left hand but I found myself subconsciously feeling this circular scar repeatedly. I am not a freak with a scar fetish. But the feeling of this hardened, dead, green, sunken skin on my hand is so foreign and alien that I think I am secretly fascinated by it despite the petulant whining and dramatic displays of handicap.
I have nobody to blame for my incapability of getting a 5 on the AP test. yes, I know, I should be disowned from the Asian race. Things like this shouldn't be discussed so publicly on a blog- I know. And most of all, I have no right whatsoever to blame this on anybody but myself. I saw it coming. I brought this on myself. I so lazily didn't bother opening AP books or even the sodding textbook. I so foolishly didn't bother even worrying about the exam, egotistically thinking that it was impossible not to get a 5 with a teacher like Korsunsky and the workload like Lynbrook's AP Calculus BC class. And, as much as I'd like to, I can't blame Collegeboard for this. They did nothing but give me a damn test, fail me, and then send me mails to shove up my ass. I deserved a 4 on the AP test. I think if anybody didn't deserve a 5, it was me. I know it. I have no right to complain here. Nor elsewhere. I have no right to complain, period, about anything.
So why am I? Why do I complain about a scar that I actually secretly enjoy fondling? Why do I complain about something that I KNOW I have no right to complain about? I don't like to complain. I hate complainers and I hate to be a hypocrite (but yet we all are hypocrites). I hate the sound of my voice when I complain. Why?
Because I hate people. I hate humankind. It is despicable. I know I sound like a "raging, liberal teenager" and an emo kid dreaming of world destruction. But I hate the things that happen to me. I hate people I meet. I also hate it when I get envious. It really is an awful feeling. You know those people you just meet and you think, god, this person got all the good genes. There is nothing that can possibly go wrong for this person. This person is essentially perfect. The world turns for this person. Who wouldn't be envious? Why can't everyone be like this?
This also makes you think, did I ever even have the potential to be this person? Or is everything in my life already destined to fail while this person's life is destined to succeed? Could I have been a Sarah Chang if I worked hard on my violin or is that something that was never meant for me to do? Because if that's so, then yes, I do have a right to complain.
What have I ever done. Can any dumbass be a genius? It's not fair that my house is always infested with bugs. It's not fair that some people can live life as lethargically as I do and still get by. It's not fair that some people were just born with good genes. It's not fair that nothing, nothing this past year has gone right for me except grades and really, what good is that for me. I have killed myself a little inside for a piece of paper with 6 As on them and really, was it worth it? I have lost my ability to drive, thereby losing my path to freedom, I have lost time, money and stress on SATs that did me no good, I have lost my zeal and love, my overflowing optimism, my forgiving nature, my loving, caring persona, my fascination with mankind. I have sacrificed them all, spread them all out neatly on a platform for the damned Gods like lamb, I have been dehumanized to every molecule there is in this empty, vile corpse I lived in for a few good grades and a lifetime of pessimism. I lost friends, I lost family, I lost people who I loved and cared for, I lost reasons to smile for a small chance to show that maybe I do have a few good genes. And after all you've taken from me, after sacrificing everything I had that made me who I always was, the only things I am rewarded with are these new pair of eyes that can see how morally, mentally, and emotionally destructed I am. And all I've got to lose now is my dignity.
Hello, world, I am Rachel. I hate things because I no longer feel pain. I complain about things because I no longer have hope. Please give me back my rose colored glasses.
I am also very sorry about this psychotic post. These things should go into a private diary locked in some obscure corner of my desk but I'm also classless and melodramatic.
But at least it's out now and I can go back to my happy posts :D you know, when I talk about my life and things that are on my mind. Now it's out of the system and you'll never have to see something so repulsively emo again. So peace-
I have nobody to blame for my incapability of getting a 5 on the AP test. yes, I know, I should be disowned from the Asian race. Things like this shouldn't be discussed so publicly on a blog- I know. And most of all, I have no right whatsoever to blame this on anybody but myself. I saw it coming. I brought this on myself. I so lazily didn't bother opening AP books or even the sodding textbook. I so foolishly didn't bother even worrying about the exam, egotistically thinking that it was impossible not to get a 5 with a teacher like Korsunsky and the workload like Lynbrook's AP Calculus BC class. And, as much as I'd like to, I can't blame Collegeboard for this. They did nothing but give me a damn test, fail me, and then send me mails to shove up my ass. I deserved a 4 on the AP test. I think if anybody didn't deserve a 5, it was me. I know it. I have no right to complain here. Nor elsewhere. I have no right to complain, period, about anything.
So why am I? Why do I complain about a scar that I actually secretly enjoy fondling? Why do I complain about something that I KNOW I have no right to complain about? I don't like to complain. I hate complainers and I hate to be a hypocrite (but yet we all are hypocrites). I hate the sound of my voice when I complain. Why?
Because I hate people. I hate humankind. It is despicable. I know I sound like a "raging, liberal teenager" and an emo kid dreaming of world destruction. But I hate the things that happen to me. I hate people I meet. I also hate it when I get envious. It really is an awful feeling. You know those people you just meet and you think, god, this person got all the good genes. There is nothing that can possibly go wrong for this person. This person is essentially perfect. The world turns for this person. Who wouldn't be envious? Why can't everyone be like this?
This also makes you think, did I ever even have the potential to be this person? Or is everything in my life already destined to fail while this person's life is destined to succeed? Could I have been a Sarah Chang if I worked hard on my violin or is that something that was never meant for me to do? Because if that's so, then yes, I do have a right to complain.
What have I ever done. Can any dumbass be a genius? It's not fair that my house is always infested with bugs. It's not fair that some people can live life as lethargically as I do and still get by. It's not fair that some people were just born with good genes. It's not fair that nothing, nothing this past year has gone right for me except grades and really, what good is that for me. I have killed myself a little inside for a piece of paper with 6 As on them and really, was it worth it? I have lost my ability to drive, thereby losing my path to freedom, I have lost time, money and stress on SATs that did me no good, I have lost my zeal and love, my overflowing optimism, my forgiving nature, my loving, caring persona, my fascination with mankind. I have sacrificed them all, spread them all out neatly on a platform for the damned Gods like lamb, I have been dehumanized to every molecule there is in this empty, vile corpse I lived in for a few good grades and a lifetime of pessimism. I lost friends, I lost family, I lost people who I loved and cared for, I lost reasons to smile for a small chance to show that maybe I do have a few good genes. And after all you've taken from me, after sacrificing everything I had that made me who I always was, the only things I am rewarded with are these new pair of eyes that can see how morally, mentally, and emotionally destructed I am. And all I've got to lose now is my dignity.
Hello, world, I am Rachel. I hate things because I no longer feel pain. I complain about things because I no longer have hope. Please give me back my rose colored glasses.
I am also very sorry about this psychotic post. These things should go into a private diary locked in some obscure corner of my desk but I'm also classless and melodramatic.
But at least it's out now and I can go back to my happy posts :D you know, when I talk about my life and things that are on my mind. Now it's out of the system and you'll never have to see something so repulsively emo again. So peace-
Saturday, June 21, 2008
regret
This feeling is mutual and universal. It is the "Language of the World" as quoted in The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho (fantastic, inspiring novel, btw).
I go through the phase perpetually. The "should-have" and "would-have" and "could-have" sentiments hit me almost as regularly as those random pains in the ass (not metaphorically; my ass seriously hurts at times). I think about how my life would have been different if I had just, I don't know... not been a total loser. Or whether or not I should have eaten that fajita burrito. Or how I could have found more productive things to do this summer (like a job). I could have been something- now I'm just quoting "On the Waterfront" (a classic must-see, btw)- but ultimately, I am not. And this is not the time in my life when I should be having doubts about myself and self esteem issues but the thing about those would-should-coulds is that there's nothing I can do about it. That's essentially where life likes to bite people in the ass-- and for me, almost literally. It's what defines failure and success. I mean, if everyone did what they should have done, there would be no evil in this world ergo, there would be no need for police ergo, a movie like Superbad would not exist. And that, my friends, is the apocalypse.
So what is the point of this entry? I have no pretty pictures to show of my yellowing backyard. I can talk about my day but who gives a flying fish. I'm a sucker and a failure but what am I going to do, start giving a care? All I know is that I refrained from using the f-bomb twice in this paragraph and I deserve a pat on the back.
On the road to purity and success. FTW
P.S: somebody, I won't mention names, deliberately called Rachel dumb. That means see you at your grave. That means watch out. I can put my foot behind my head. Biatch~
I go through the phase perpetually. The "should-have" and "would-have" and "could-have" sentiments hit me almost as regularly as those random pains in the ass (not metaphorically; my ass seriously hurts at times). I think about how my life would have been different if I had just, I don't know... not been a total loser. Or whether or not I should have eaten that fajita burrito. Or how I could have found more productive things to do this summer (like a job). I could have been something- now I'm just quoting "On the Waterfront" (a classic must-see, btw)- but ultimately, I am not. And this is not the time in my life when I should be having doubts about myself and self esteem issues but the thing about those would-should-coulds is that there's nothing I can do about it. That's essentially where life likes to bite people in the ass-- and for me, almost literally. It's what defines failure and success. I mean, if everyone did what they should have done, there would be no evil in this world ergo, there would be no need for police ergo, a movie like Superbad would not exist. And that, my friends, is the apocalypse.
So what is the point of this entry? I have no pretty pictures to show of my yellowing backyard. I can talk about my day but who gives a flying fish. I'm a sucker and a failure but what am I going to do, start giving a care? All I know is that I refrained from using the f-bomb twice in this paragraph and I deserve a pat on the back.
On the road to purity and success. FTW
P.S: somebody, I won't mention names, deliberately called Rachel dumb. That means see you at your grave. That means watch out. I can put my foot behind my head. Biatch~
Saturday, June 14, 2008
bitter...sweet...?
Hello, all
The school year of 2007-2008 is finally over. More importantly, Rachel's junior year is over. feelings? bittersweet...? no. just sweet. I don't understand how ANYONE could feel bitter after finishing a treacherous year of school. Sure, the seniors are leaving for college and summer means not being able to see friends every day and, for study-holics like Jacqueline Liu, not being able to study something.
But friends! The "sweet" really does overcome the "bitter." Summer means laboring under the globally warmed sun, sweating profusely, cramming AP Lit and AP Gov homework, not having a job and therefore being broke, not having a driver's license, starting on college apps, studying for SATs, studying for De Anza classes, gaining weight, getting dumber, being abandoned by both mothers, turning into a recluse, and ultimately, failing at life.
so, I lie. feelings are now just bitter.
The school year of 2007-2008 is finally over. More importantly, Rachel's junior year is over. feelings? bittersweet...? no. just sweet. I don't understand how ANYONE could feel bitter after finishing a treacherous year of school. Sure, the seniors are leaving for college and summer means not being able to see friends every day and, for study-holics like Jacqueline Liu, not being able to study something.
But friends! The "sweet" really does overcome the "bitter." Summer means laboring under the globally warmed sun, sweating profusely, cramming AP Lit and AP Gov homework, not having a job and therefore being broke, not having a driver's license, starting on college apps, studying for SATs, studying for De Anza classes, gaining weight, getting dumber, being abandoned by both mothers, turning into a recluse, and ultimately, failing at life.
so, I lie. feelings are now just bitter.
Monday, June 2, 2008
it is coming to a close
- Congrats ECYS '08!
- The Lynbrook graduating class
- Weeds
- Sam Chen ??
- The prospects of my life
There will be essays on the aforementioned topics in the near future. Literally.
Friday, May 30, 2008
dancing through life
Hello world!
My past week has been quite the roller coaster... like the Grizzly in Great America. Why is this the best analogy? The Grizzly is the rockiest, most painful, and funnest roller coaster in the whole amusement park. I lie, it is not the funnest but it IS somewhat fun so...
anyways. the reason why I say that is because this week has been quite rocky, painful and fun. I had a little panic attack for the last physics test of the year on Wednesday, my caffeine addiction was quite painful to deal with, and Rockband became a necessity in my life. I shall expand on that later but more importantly now:
PROS AND CONS: AP GOV/ECON
pros: I will not have only 3 AP classes in high school.
Everybody else is doing it...?
I will be disowned if I don't.
It is rumoured to be not that difficult
More interesting since reg. gov will be full of dumb white kids like this year.
cons: I have AP lit and if I didn't take AP gov, I MAY get an A
Less to do during summer.
Kind of BS AP class. J.Young says some colleges don't even count it.
Busy work. More time to expand my horizons.. discover my destiny.. find myself
still in rough decision but... in the end, who cares. I don't. I am more concerned abut physics H now. which I would talk about but I don't feel like it.
Anyways, surprise to you, Jacqueline Liu, if you read this, but I can no longer get a gym membership. Why? Because my sister disapproves and if she does, it is law. I will be dragged out to go running with her every morning and whatnot but if it does not work out, I shall join thee at Right Stuff. I don't necessarily desire to be a stick and anorexic looking like Jacqueline, but I'd like to be fit and healthy and not the stuffy, obese marshmallow I am now.
Putting that aside, I realized that my I was born to be obese. I am the happiest when eating and my body structure is allows me to eat nonstop and my mouth is huge.
More? okay, more. I do not understand men who are fruits. I mean, I am an in-the-closet feminist but I cannot deny that men are supposed to be the dominant sex. They always have been. It'd be nice for a change and all because I do disapprove of the degrading and inferior image that women are still expected to live by in modern day society, but that does not mean that men should turn into... fruits. I understand the concept of the survival of the fittest and the impossibility of two dominant coexisting natures but it is even shameful to me to see men who appear as if they have given up the perpetual fight. These fruits seek constant reassurance of their appearance, attractiveness, intelligence, and ultimately: their masculinity. They are codependent and clingy. They are, in other words, WIMPS.
As ridiculous as it may sound, I honestly place half the blame of these creatures on brands such as Abercrombie and Fitch and Hollister. I'm not much to say because I am not in date with the fashion industry's status quo, but I believe that the new generation of fruity "men" is conjured from those baby pink t-shirts that say "Real men wear pink." I do not joke. In the coming age of escalating self consciousness and the obsession with metro fashion, what man can spend time at bars watching "the game" instead of at the mall, looking for the perfect skinny jeans that are just sexy enough but not yet screaming "gay." And again, as all unnatural and unwanted phenomenons in the world, the blame is traced back to women. Women who idolize the pretty boys have usurped the system and forced pressure on men to live up to higher, and inevitably, fruitier standards.
So if you are a man. And you somehow happen to be reading this (which I believe is even more questionable because what real man would want to read whiny ramblings of two teenager girls?) Speaking of whining, this has gone on for too long so I shall leave off with this (HA)
I started this rant because I have been accosted by the fruity man gender recently and I would just like to tell this gender to please grow some.
Good luck and good night.
My past week has been quite the roller coaster... like the Grizzly in Great America. Why is this the best analogy? The Grizzly is the rockiest, most painful, and funnest roller coaster in the whole amusement park. I lie, it is not the funnest but it IS somewhat fun so...
anyways. the reason why I say that is because this week has been quite rocky, painful and fun. I had a little panic attack for the last physics test of the year on Wednesday, my caffeine addiction was quite painful to deal with, and Rockband became a necessity in my life. I shall expand on that later but more importantly now:
PROS AND CONS: AP GOV/ECON
pros: I will not have only 3 AP classes in high school.
Everybody else is doing it...?
I will be disowned if I don't.
It is rumoured to be not that difficult
More interesting since reg. gov will be full of dumb white kids like this year.
cons: I have AP lit and if I didn't take AP gov, I MAY get an A
Less to do during summer.
Kind of BS AP class. J.Young says some colleges don't even count it.
Busy work. More time to expand my horizons.. discover my destiny.. find myself
still in rough decision but... in the end, who cares. I don't. I am more concerned abut physics H now. which I would talk about but I don't feel like it.
Anyways, surprise to you, Jacqueline Liu, if you read this, but I can no longer get a gym membership. Why? Because my sister disapproves and if she does, it is law. I will be dragged out to go running with her every morning and whatnot but if it does not work out, I shall join thee at Right Stuff. I don't necessarily desire to be a stick and anorexic looking like Jacqueline, but I'd like to be fit and healthy and not the stuffy, obese marshmallow I am now.
Putting that aside, I realized that my I was born to be obese. I am the happiest when eating and my body structure is allows me to eat nonstop and my mouth is huge.
More? okay, more. I do not understand men who are fruits. I mean, I am an in-the-closet feminist but I cannot deny that men are supposed to be the dominant sex. They always have been. It'd be nice for a change and all because I do disapprove of the degrading and inferior image that women are still expected to live by in modern day society, but that does not mean that men should turn into... fruits. I understand the concept of the survival of the fittest and the impossibility of two dominant coexisting natures but it is even shameful to me to see men who appear as if they have given up the perpetual fight. These fruits seek constant reassurance of their appearance, attractiveness, intelligence, and ultimately: their masculinity. They are codependent and clingy. They are, in other words, WIMPS.
As ridiculous as it may sound, I honestly place half the blame of these creatures on brands such as Abercrombie and Fitch and Hollister. I'm not much to say because I am not in date with the fashion industry's status quo, but I believe that the new generation of fruity "men" is conjured from those baby pink t-shirts that say "Real men wear pink." I do not joke. In the coming age of escalating self consciousness and the obsession with metro fashion, what man can spend time at bars watching "the game" instead of at the mall, looking for the perfect skinny jeans that are just sexy enough but not yet screaming "gay." And again, as all unnatural and unwanted phenomenons in the world, the blame is traced back to women. Women who idolize the pretty boys have usurped the system and forced pressure on men to live up to higher, and inevitably, fruitier standards.
So if you are a man. And you somehow happen to be reading this (which I believe is even more questionable because what real man would want to read whiny ramblings of two teenager girls?) Speaking of whining, this has gone on for too long so I shall leave off with this (HA)
I started this rant because I have been accosted by the fruity man gender recently and I would just like to tell this gender to please grow some.
Good luck and good night.
...
As I was surfing the WWW, I came across an article written about two years ago on a newly discovered restaurant that serves certain delectable dishes. ...
On another note, what the hell is this???
Situated in an elegantly restored house beside Beijing's West Lake, it is China's first speciality penis restaurant.Oh my damn.
And then descriptions of other delightful delicacies ensue...For beginners, Miss Zhu recommended the hotpot, which offers a sampling of what the restaurant has to offer - six types of penis, and four of testicle, boiled in chicken stock by the waitress, Liu Yunyang, 22.
The Russian dog was first. It was julienned, and rather gamey.
You then really have to ask, "Do the waitresses that work here have boyfriends?"The ox was, of all six, the most recognisable for what it was, even though it had been diced. In texture seemed identical to gristle.
The deer and the Mongolian goat were surprisingly similar: a little stringy, they had the appearance and feel of overcooked squid tentacles. The Xinjiang horse and the donkey, on the other hand, were quite different. Though both came sliced lengthwise, and looked like bacon, the horse was light and fatty, while the donkey had a firm colour and taste. The testicles were slightly crumbly, and tasted better with lashings of the sesame, soy and chilli dips thoughtfully provided.
On another note, what the hell is this???
Thursday, May 29, 2008
the stream of consciousness
This isn't really a stream of consciousness. At least, I'm hoping it won't be, but I don't plan out what I'm going to say before I click "new post" so we will see what unfolds.
Two days ago, we had a fetal pig dissection during biology. I thought that I'd be at least half grossed out, but I surprisingly had an uncanny fascination with ripping out the pig's organs. I am proud to say that I ripped out its heart with the minute assistance of my lab mates! Actually, I don't really remember how much we all contributed to this region of the specimen's body, but I can say that I played a fairly big role. Our entire lab group really wanted to check out the brain, though (we did not receive directions to do so and therefore, being the good students we are, failed to make a single incision into the skull.) Unfortunate.
I apologize, but there are no photos available... I did see a student snapping away at his camera, but I think that was for our teacher's future powerpoints or something.
Anyhow... I have been regularly seeing my chiropractor about two times a week for about a month now. My most recent appointment was on Tuesday when it was declared that I only had to visit the clinic once a week! Karma became the llama and during third period today, my neck spazzed and my head remained tilted (to the right) for hours before I sped home during the lunch period, popped two advils, and put myself to bed for 20 minutes. I am happy to say that when I rose from my slumber, my neck could manage to stay straight, though I was still in pain (and I continue to strain now.)
Good news has to come sometime and I am happy to announce that a date for my court appearance, regarding the traffic ticket I received in April, has been established. Still in a few weeks or so, specifically, the day before my birthday, I will be meeting the judge and jury (or whomever) and will, hopefully, reduce my fine.
AND according to my lit teacher, I have a knack for poetry. I will be off to write my prose in a stream of consciousness within the 30 minutes I have before orchestra dress rehearsal.
PS) My brother is home from college!
Two days ago, we had a fetal pig dissection during biology. I thought that I'd be at least half grossed out, but I surprisingly had an uncanny fascination with ripping out the pig's organs. I am proud to say that I ripped out its heart with the minute assistance of my lab mates! Actually, I don't really remember how much we all contributed to this region of the specimen's body, but I can say that I played a fairly big role. Our entire lab group really wanted to check out the brain, though (we did not receive directions to do so and therefore, being the good students we are, failed to make a single incision into the skull.) Unfortunate.
I apologize, but there are no photos available... I did see a student snapping away at his camera, but I think that was for our teacher's future powerpoints or something.
Anyhow... I have been regularly seeing my chiropractor about two times a week for about a month now. My most recent appointment was on Tuesday when it was declared that I only had to visit the clinic once a week! Karma became the llama and during third period today, my neck spazzed and my head remained tilted (to the right) for hours before I sped home during the lunch period, popped two advils, and put myself to bed for 20 minutes. I am happy to say that when I rose from my slumber, my neck could manage to stay straight, though I was still in pain (and I continue to strain now.)
Good news has to come sometime and I am happy to announce that a date for my court appearance, regarding the traffic ticket I received in April, has been established. Still in a few weeks or so, specifically, the day before my birthday, I will be meeting the judge and jury (or whomever) and will, hopefully, reduce my fine.
AND according to my lit teacher, I have a knack for poetry. I will be off to write my prose in a stream of consciousness within the 30 minutes I have before orchestra dress rehearsal.
PS) My brother is home from college!
Thursday, May 22, 2008
the truth about obscenity
recently, I have been told that this blog is blocked on my friend's computer because it is "tasteless or obscene."
I've been called tasteless before, especially in the winter time when I have no clothes to wear so I must resort to picking up bits and pieces of scraps from the depths of my closet. But obscene? Never.
Let me tell you what is really tasteless: ugg boots, crocs, and neon pants; what is really obscene: when your six foot tall, bald, middle aged music teacher puts on a wig and a dress and prances around the stage.
On a side note, David Cook won American Idol. And I knew it. It's my bloody sixth sense. I just have it.
I know why my junioritis is at an all time high. it is because I am surrounded by seniors who just don't give a care in the world anymore and by juniors who are done with AP tests and no longer have a direction in life. so damn you all.
Counting down until FTTS... and staring at my toenail... or lackthereof. -_-
peace
I've been called tasteless before, especially in the winter time when I have no clothes to wear so I must resort to picking up bits and pieces of scraps from the depths of my closet. But obscene? Never.
Let me tell you what is really tasteless: ugg boots, crocs, and neon pants; what is really obscene: when your six foot tall, bald, middle aged music teacher puts on a wig and a dress and prances around the stage.
On a side note, David Cook won American Idol. And I knew it. It's my bloody sixth sense. I just have it.
I know why my junioritis is at an all time high. it is because I am surrounded by seniors who just don't give a care in the world anymore and by juniors who are done with AP tests and no longer have a direction in life. so damn you all.
Counting down until FTTS... and staring at my toenail... or lackthereof. -_-
peace
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Jacqueline lies
I was actually not doing my work in math class though I should not say it with such fervid conviction. and speaking of math powerpoints, I hate history. I really do. I wonder how I am related to my sister because she is majoring in that cursed subject. But alas, this is not the first time I have questioned the origin of my birth.
anyhow, I don't hate history, the subject. History can be fascinating at times. Like did you know that the average life span of allied soldiers on D-Day was 17 seconds? but that's frankly about as good as it gets.
what has recently caught my attention, however, is how there is a wikipedia page for senioritis but not for junioritis. where is the justice in that?
Q: What is Junioritis?
A: Sorry, but I'm too lazy to answer that question so fuck off and let me play neopets.
so anyways, that is my explanation for why I cannot tell you everything about my day like jacqueline so that my posts can actually be somewhat substantial. I really do jackshit all day so there really is nothing to write about except how much my life sucks, and I don't want to come off as a moaner groaner.
I resent that.
on a side note, today is the American Idol season finale. David Cook FTW! "What about David Archuleta, Rachel?!" Well, friend, I say there are too many undeserving, prepubescent children flocking the celebrity industry these days. Where is the real testosterone at?
peace. please.
anyhow, I don't hate history, the subject. History can be fascinating at times. Like did you know that the average life span of allied soldiers on D-Day was 17 seconds? but that's frankly about as good as it gets.
what has recently caught my attention, however, is how there is a wikipedia page for senioritis but not for junioritis. where is the justice in that?
Q: What is Junioritis?
A: Sorry, but I'm too lazy to answer that question so fuck off and let me play neopets.
so anyways, that is my explanation for why I cannot tell you everything about my day like jacqueline so that my posts can actually be somewhat substantial. I really do jackshit all day so there really is nothing to write about except how much my life sucks, and I don't want to come off as a moaner groaner.
I resent that.
on a side note, today is the American Idol season finale. David Cook FTW! "What about David Archuleta, Rachel?!" Well, friend, I say there are too many undeserving, prepubescent children flocking the celebrity industry these days. Where is the real testosterone at?
peace. please.
Saturday, May 17, 2008
intrusion
it is quite sad that someone has already taken my username (knightofni) for his/her/it's blog. and perhaps as a potential act of revenge, I visited that motherfucka and oh, hey, what? that bitch (named rosey) is not even using the bloody blog. what a waste of a perfectly fine blog address.
BUT that is no longer a problem, for jacqolantern and rachel took a step further in their marriage and created a joint blog to introduce to the world two hateful minds with a lot to say. no, a lot to complain about. like the inflation crises in America. or the injustice of foul women like ----- getting a date to senior prom and not a smoking hot babe like me.
peace. please.
BUT that is no longer a problem, for jacqolantern and rachel took a step further in their marriage and created a joint blog to introduce to the world two hateful minds with a lot to say. no, a lot to complain about. like the inflation crises in America. or the injustice of foul women like ----- getting a date to senior prom and not a smoking hot babe like me.
peace. please.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
allergies!
I have year-round allergies and so when the official allergy season begins, I pretty much die.
I am dying. I have been constantly taking medication, but when it comes down to it, I itch like a maniac. I itch perpetually: my face, my legs, my arms, my eyes (which are a part of my face, but a whole different kind of itching altogether)
Because of hypersensitivity, my face is also exploding with random patches of dryness or oil (I don't know) and eczema is all over my chin. I can't put my face down on anything... and yes, this means that I can't sleep at school because my face will be touching some desk surface of bacteria.
Life is unbearable. And my finals that actually matter are in a few days. AP testing is in less than two weeks and it is CRUNCH TIME.
I am incapable of sustaining a meaningful relationship with a significant other because I have this tendency to get sick of people. Now, I never really noticed this because when it comes to friends, I actually don't talk to, or even see most of them every day OR if i do, not to anything of magnitude. Being with someone would entitle me to devoting a certain amount of energy to the relationship and would also make me responsible for having to be with a person ALL or at least MOST of the time (maybe even for a LITTLE of the time)...
The point is that I get tired of people easily and a relationship would die after the first month or so.
I'm just saying that those are words for thought.
I am dying. I have been constantly taking medication, but when it comes down to it, I itch like a maniac. I itch perpetually: my face, my legs, my arms, my eyes (which are a part of my face, but a whole different kind of itching altogether)
Because of hypersensitivity, my face is also exploding with random patches of dryness or oil (I don't know) and eczema is all over my chin. I can't put my face down on anything... and yes, this means that I can't sleep at school because my face will be touching some desk surface of bacteria.
Life is unbearable. And my finals that actually matter are in a few days. AP testing is in less than two weeks and it is CRUNCH TIME.
I am incapable of sustaining a meaningful relationship with a significant other because I have this tendency to get sick of people. Now, I never really noticed this because when it comes to friends, I actually don't talk to, or even see most of them every day OR if i do, not to anything of magnitude. Being with someone would entitle me to devoting a certain amount of energy to the relationship and would also make me responsible for having to be with a person ALL or at least MOST of the time (maybe even for a LITTLE of the time)...
The point is that I get tired of people easily and a relationship would die after the first month or so.
I'm just saying that those are words for thought.
Friday, April 18, 2008
excitement
I get so excited when people invite me to hang out or go on random little excursions just because I'm somewhat of a loser.
I'm not the life of the party :( sadly.
That would probably be why I jumped at every occasion I was invited to this break... well, I blew off a couple, but for good reason. I enjoy being a loner once in a while!
I'm not the life of the party :( sadly.
That would probably be why I jumped at every occasion I was invited to this break... well, I blew off a couple, but for good reason. I enjoy being a loner once in a while!
Thursday, April 17, 2008
cops make me sad
I don't understand why Saratoga is crawling with so many cops. It's a very nice city and the biggest crimes that ever happen involve speeding or invisible pedestrians...
Why don't cops go to Oakland or something where they're actually required? You'd think that if law enforcers really cared about people, they wouldn't be spending their Saturday mornings prowling the suburbs looking for easy ways to catch people and make money.
WTF IS THIS?
Why don't cops go to Oakland or something where they're actually required? You'd think that if law enforcers really cared about people, they wouldn't be spending their Saturday mornings prowling the suburbs looking for easy ways to catch people and make money.
WTF IS THIS?
The other new California driving law is Senate Bill 33. This law prohibits drivers under the age of 18 from using a wireless telephone or any mobile device while operating a motor vehicle. Unlike the other new California driving law, there are no exceptions for hands-free devices.
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