I am still ridiculously behind on summer homework but for some reason, that does not prod at my apparently dormant nervous conscience. So therefore, we move on...
As this is my last weekend before my senior year in high school, I'd like to dedicate this entry to a very forgettable summer.
Of course, I am thoroughly disappointed with my summer because of my inability to meet any of the goals I set up in the beginning of break. I underestimated the workload in both my De Anza classes and was not able to manage my time efficiently to balance classes, college apps, SATs, summer homework, and of course, friends. Hence, running on an hour or two of sleep every day and allowing De Anza to dominate every minute of my limited time, I inevitably fell into a bitter pit of depression, isolation, and incurable insomnia. I realized that my determination to work towards a healthy body and mind were merely idealistic dreams. I should have known they would fail earlier since I am not a go-getter. I am a lazy slacker and it takes more than just a exercise-holic sister to get me up in the morning to run 2-3 miles.
So generally, this summer has been something short of disaster. Besides the kickass 08 ECYS retreat and the few brief meetings with TFC & others, let us toast to this miserable summer vacation and hope it never crosses paths in our fading memories again.
On the side note, I've been thinking a lot about race and our neighborhood and though I am, as jacq has mentioned, a lazy slacker and do not feel up to typing it all out, there are some things I found just too dismal to pass up. For example, I yearn so much to get out of this hellhole asap but I realized that once I do, I probably will not be able to handle the different environment. The bubble we live in grows smaller and smaller as the area we grow up in becomes more and more pressured. Also, the fact that I have a ridiculously overbearing Korean mother does not make my unfortunate case any better. Story of my life.
But besides those qualms and doubts, I am mostly excited for my future. I daydream about my independence constantly, I make more optimistic plans and goals, and I always imagine myself 10 years from now to see what and how I'm doing. And although an unmentioned classmate has berated and questioned me about my inability to decide on a specific career or major choice, I feel no shame to admit so. I feel that going to college with a narrow minded focus in one subject intrudes on the actual significance of college.
On another side note, I am currently addicted to the Olympics. I forced myself to do gov homework after getting home from the library but by the time it's around 9, my eyes are glued to the TV. I don't remember ever being so deeply involved in the Olympics. Watching the little midget armies spin around on bars or anorexic Chinese girls dive into the pool with barely a plop in the water has never been so fascinating!
And on yet another side note, I finally understood how Jacqueline ended up with back problems after junior year. And I bow down to her courageous soul. After only three days in the library, even with numerous ADD induced breaks in between, I have been plagued with a straining pain in my upper-left back. On Wednesday, I could barely even breathe without feeling the pain shoot up again. So today, I had my first trip to the chiropractor who actually made the last minute visit quite pleasant. I received some sort of electric something and acupuncture- not too rough- and a really soothing massage. And then, my chiro came in again and cracked my joints, as if cracking a glowstick. I really couldn't help but to let out a gasping "Holy shit" when he did this because just hearing the joints crack was mindblowing.
Anyways, I must start waking up earlier because at this rate, I have no idea how I will even be half conscious at 7: 30 AM when school starts.
-IN the news, Obama finally picked his veep, Senator Joseph Biden from Delaware! :D I know Jacqueline is a McCain follower but I've got great feelings about this. I am, after all, the "raging liberal teenager" -_____-
PEACE OUT!
