Dear blogspot,

I realize I left you for tumblr, but I cannot say I ever really intended to do so. I miss writing like this- with full, complete sentences constructed at varying lengths. Like how English is meant to be written.

Ah yes, I did leave your traditions for that new and modernized tumblr- this much is true. "Why tumblr?" your desperate eyes cry. I don't know. Maybe I thought that because she was something everyone used, blogging would come back in. In like fashion, yaddiggg?? And I suppose it has- I mean, people find it easier to keep up with the things I write now, but really, I think I've always given you stronger content. I married Tumblr out of convenience; you can text short little messages to her (so quick & easy!), but now that it comes down to stress and anger, I have reappeared on this website. Because this is the place where I can write like this. This is home. So I'm sorry anorexicturtle.blogspot.com- I abandoned you. Like a bastard father leaving his children behind (Like Serena van der Woodsen's father [yes, I just made a Gossip Girl reference]), I suddenly returned and wounded your fragile heart without a warning.

And there is no forgiveness for I am not back for good. I realize I'm just toying with your heart, coming in when I'm falling and leaving as soon as I have healed. I leave you with no promises, no hopes, and dreams. So you don't need to welcome me with open arms because I realize I treat you like a safety net; you don't need to be here for me because I know it strains your emotions.
It is unfair, and I apologize.

But I missed you. I love you.

Jackie.

melancholy

insipid
curled up, bent up
to question is to show weakness- to question is to show insecurity
don't look back
don't regret
a song without words
a word without meaning

a body without blood
a heart without soul
a soul without purpose

to live with a cause
to die without one

yay area

Spring break has commenced! Chaos! But not... Berkeley is strangely empty and quiet. Honestly, I am enjoying every moment of it puahaha. Anyway today, on my way to Emeryville, I got off at the wrong bus stop and ended up in front of Pixar Studios. Ah, interesting the random shit that always ends up happening in my journeys to Emeryville.

We have also just secured an apartment for next year! And yes, the owner is a sex offender and trafficking fraud, but umm... the apartment is nice? In the end, we figured there was no way out- this man owns a good portion of the properties in southside.

Also, I have made a tumblr of my own, since Jacqo decided to take our domain name
Γ(=_=)" (haha) but it's okay. so for you, jerry, my only reader (:X)...

http://focho.tumblr.com

I basically made it for the sole purpose of sending pictures to the computer efficiently. Now I can record the randomass shit I take pictures of to the internet! Yippee!!!

Yesterday, I sat down and figured out my 4 year plan... it was immensely gratifying. Yeah it was IMMENSELY gratifying. It also made me more sure I'll stay in Berkeley for the summer, even if it means having to part from my beloved community college (and the best community college in the country) and my fwends D: but I will try to acquire a car and make my way in and out of the city frequently yesssssssss.........

Sigh... the things I do to please my readers HAHA. my second post dedicated to jerry li. anyway, I'm sorry for the pretty subpar writing here... if you must know, I am kind of like a red kite in the sky, and Hassan is runnin me pretty hard. puahaha (yeah, Kite Runner reference wassaaaaP)

PEACE LOVE UNITY AND RESPECT

aimless

getting swallowed in the wind tunnel
losing parts every day

2010

I CLAIM THE FIRST POST OF THE YEAR BECAUSE JACQUELINE LIU HAS VIRTUALLY ABANDONED ANOREXIC TURTLE

just kidding, we both kind of did.

Anyway, I guess I better make the typical new years resolution post.

looking back, here's last year's:
1. Get license
2. Never miss appointments
3. Use planner
4. Maximum of 2 hours for games per day
5. Don't borrow money
6. Stop depending on Jon Stewart for the news
7. Work out.
8. Follow to-do lists and self-made schedules
9. only 1 tardy per week
10. Suit up

It's really funny that the only thing I really succeeded in was number 1. And that took a lot more effort than it needed.

A lot of things happened in 2009 and things turned out the way I never imagined them to. Did I see myself spoiling away in Berkeley, depending on a biosphere class to keep from failing out of school? Or getting Charizard? Or being homeless? No. But overall, I've had a great year. And now, despite the hard times and the regrets, I can only look forward to a new year, a new beginning, a new life...

All I can say is, I can't wait to see what 2010 has in store for me.

1. find a major.
2. make myself proud.
3. wear color.

that's basically everything on my mind for now... the rest, well, the specifics will figure themselves out.

happy new years, anorexic turtle. wish me luck

neener neener

I LOVE GOOGLE CHROME

Snapshot

Yesterday, I did laundry. And all day, I told people I did laundary. How embarrassing. The point is, I did laundry and all my clothes shrank. I also realized I only wear sold colored v-neck tshirts. I realized this when Kelly, my roommate, was like "Rachel, do you basically wear only solid color v-necks?" And I looked at my hands as I stacked my laundered shirts into my drawer, saw the three fruit of the loom white tees in one hand and 4 Hanes white tees in the other and thought, yeah. I do. And then she said "You're boring" and I probably called her a bitch because that is how I roll.

Speaking of which